shake yer bong bong

So.....

you've just crashed a party (because after all, free food!)
and you discover that its actually a bong party

its filled with babus, auntys and younger bongs who desperately need a haircut and a new wardrobe.

and you'd like to get out, but bong food is bong food(plus, my funda: free food always tastes better)

one thing you'll notice, is that there is NO greater food fest than a bong party(punjabis come 2nd) EVERY non veg item that you ever imagined, some veg crap, some roti crap, and yes FREE BOOZE. also a paan stall (meetha paan please!) at the end. and if its winter, the famous coffee stall with the guy holding a jug into which elephant fart is blown into to make it frothy.

so.....now youre inside, and you want to eat every single meat/fish dish you've seen(f*ck the veg crap and the rice crap and the roti crap) and get drunk.

and perhaps then go to the disco section where you get to dance with hot young thangs, and fat fat balding uncles shaking their booty for all its worth.

there's just one problem.

language!

what'll you do when someone asks you anything in bong?

fear not my friends, I, the bong-meister shall give you tips.

no matter what they ask, you can get away with a universal answer.




Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.


notice, its 'khoob bhalo' twice.

you HAVE TO have to say it twice, or the whole phrase becomes meaningless.

Q: tomar naam ki? (whats your name?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: time ki?(whats the time?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: maach ta kemni?(hows the fish?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: tumi bangaali?
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: tumi oke jano? o kemni aache?(do you know him? hows he?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

as you can see, it works on any question.

but JUST in case you screw up some part, or you dont look bongish(youre a chinese, n african, a dwarf, or a little purple animal) then do the following things.

A. shout 'DADA' and run towards any unsuspecting male victim
B. Keep a paan ready, and chew on it as soon as a question is asked, after enough masticulation the person will probably give up and go away
C. shout 'OORI BABA' and run towards the nearest exit or bathroom.


there you go. thats the ABC.

results will vary according to the intelligence and drunkenness of the bongs as well as yours.

go on.
have some fun.



and free booze.