how high can you fly with broken wings?

the sun had set.
but it wasnt exactly night.

there were dark clouds around.
but it wasnt exactly raining.

exams were close.
but he didnt really feel like studying.

'how apt' he thought.

the world was still, as if waiting for something.
holding its breath. for the beginning of something.

'probably rain. the calm before the storm?'

he used to take lots of walks. long ago.
going out at night. during times, when the roads were least likely to be crowded.
for the exact thing that he hated, being alone.
his weekly ritual.
but that had stopped.
why?

'because, now Im always alone'


he used to have his own spot.
to sit. to think. to eat. to stare at the world.
but he didnt go there that day.

'too many sad emotions are linked to it'

he did what he used to do when he was a kid.
take the first right on every turn that he encountered.

he knew how to get back to his hostel again.
but he had no idea where he was.

'probably, I'll end up lost, or in a ditch'

he was at a high place.
probably.
the amount of wind, hinted at it.

he saw a light.
the familiar flame of a lighter.
and he went towards it.

'I need a smoke'

she was sitting on a rock.
bent over.
trying to protect the flame. unable to light that precious stick between her lips.

'feh. novice'

'here, allow me' he advanced.
she accepted his offer.

he lit it up.
gave it to her.

she tried to act cool, but ended up swallowing instead of breathing.
coughing vigorously.

'your first time?'
'ummm. yeah'

'dont'
'dont what?'
'smoke'

'why not? I can do bloody anything I want to' she got angry
'of course you can, its just not a good thing.its your choice of course'

'exactly, its always my choice. no matter what others say.'
'hmm yeah, you can do whatever you want. because its your responsibility' he said in a dreamy voice

something inside her snapped
she started speaking. and he never stopped her.
she didnt want to stop.
she didnt stop.

then, there was just silence.
she got a message, and she ran off.
'Im sorry. I have to go.'
'take care you'
'as should you'

it didnt rain that night.
but it poured the next day.

someone bumped into him that day. it was her.
but they didnt speak.
it wasnt unexpected though.
he had felt it the previous night.

'of course, thats how she is'


in class, he found a note in his labcoat.

'Im sorry, you know I cant. I wish i could though'

that evening, he saw her again.

'dont worry, I never expected it' he shouted
everyone heard it, but only she knew it was meant for her

she turned and smiled for a moment.


they smile, whenever they see each other.
from that day on.

sometimes, simple relationships, without expectations, are the best relationships.

eat, drink, and be hairy!

so the gears of rumour are turning again.

bongs are obsessed with 3 things - food, movies and CRICKET.
oh, wait. there's also paan.


and how did the kolkata night riders fare this IPL?

"theyre as alive and kicking as this bug underneath my lakhani chappal, says a dada in all his bong glory. and lo, it IS alive and kicking(and screaming perhaps)"

bugs are resilient creatures, and so are bongs, says one ancient legend from the great huge book of bongs*

what may be the reasons for them to fail so miserably this time?

"that fake IPL bass-turd", echoes one young of the 3 young bongies in kurta and jeans

"oori da, ekdom bhalo point bolle, eita to main point hocche(o brother, good point, thats the main point)
that fake IPL guy took us down the drains.
disunity create kore!
deshdrohi shaala!"
agrees bongy 2

and why are you wearing kurta and jeans?
"this happen be besht clothing of india. ekdom INDIgenous" sniggers bongy3
"aamra total intellectual"

then why does it look like you havent changed in the last....erm...3 weeks?
kichu o bole dada, aami mere debo
(he's talking crap bro, I'll hit him)
shaala, you wear clean shirt pant, you firangi, learn to be baangaali
I telling you, that what is causing dishharmoony in knight riders
those shaala bangluulu people send firangi model to our camp along with fake IPL player

and our knight riders become NIGHT riders? I suggest

"exjactly! here, have a paan for that statement, says babu in the paan stall
10 taaka baba, meetha bangla paan! khoob bhaalo khoob bhaalo"

so, what are you going to do this weekend?
"we watch movie in home. golu's mom making good popcorn and paan."

which movie?
"RituPORNO ghosh-er movie.
oi director is khoob classy khoob classy!"

and what else does dada have to say for the general public of this blog?

steps up a philosopher paunchy dada:

"aaare dada, I tell you, jindagi taa khooob bhaalo khoob bhaalo
eat khoob roshogulla
drink lots beer
and have healthy food like paan.
whatsay?"

"khoob bhalo khoob bhalo!"
screams the whole crowd.



*if youre still wondering
I'll publish it as soon as I find a publisher ;)



DISCLAIMER: all bongs are actually sexy, and nice, and sexy, and smart, and sexy, and un-hairy, and sexy and bathe everyday!

if my life has a theme song, I want it to be the theme song of mortal kombat!

I didnt go on a walk today.
I didnt go see the sunset.
its been ages since Ive done that anyway.

I had a practical exam today.
I didnt go to the library to cram it all up.
I slept through most of the morning today.
does it matter to anyone anyway?

I had a viva voce today.
I didnt answer any of the questions today.
I havent ever since, anyway.

when I was walking down the street today,
no hot girl came up to tell me how awesome I was.
that never happened after that anyway.

I shaved today.
and I looked proper.
but my shoelaces were untied.
and I didnt care to tie them up again anyway.

I didnt use up my balance today.
I didnt want to call.
its been a long time since my phone bill was that huge.
and it doesnt matter anymore anyway.

It was raining today.
but I didnt use an umbrella.
I wanted to feel it again.
the things that have stopped inside
still go on normally outside.

I woke up today.
and the world didnt seem to stop.
even though I have, since such a long time.

the Undeluded child : the concept of 'personality investment'

some things in your life, are just.......

landmarks.

some of those things, ideas, persons or maybe even embarrassing behaviour, you kept getting reminded of, in every single thing you do.

others though,
you think it, you obsess over it for a week, a month
and then poof, it goes into your archives.
to just sit there. waiting.

and when a little action, a few words, maybe something you eat, triggers a chain reaction,
everything comes flooding into your mind.
fresh. like it just happened an hour ago.

something like that happened to me last night.

this was waaaay back when I was a kid.
I still wore shorts to school.
and hair was just beginning to grow at funny places.

something happened which had me really wishing I could run away from everything.

I dont remember what, but it was no way related to my favourite pillow being torn.
(good days! good days!)


aah. Like I was saying,I wanted to run away.
most kids just stop there.

but then, whats undeluded, if he doesnt take it one step further? nothing.

thats when I made a plan, one of the most memorable plans Ive ever made(oh, Ive made a few* if you want to know)

I had just recently shifted from mumbai to bhopal at that time.
so, if I was going to run anywhere, that was where it was going to be(the people there are awesome, and HOT GIRLS YAYAY!)(or delhi of course)

and how was I going to survive?

the idea came to me, in a flash
it was like the skies parted, and suddenly I saw bright light.



I was going to sell myself.


bah. you pervs.
not THAT way.

here, comes in the brilliance of undeluded.

the concept of it was:

people invest in companies. which they think can give them a profit.
so.......why cant people invest in ME, if they think I can get them some quick money.

people put money in banks, because they get an interest.
if I could give them a higher interest rate, and an assurance of trust, then......why not?

people make fixed deposits.
so if I can turn their money into a bit more than what the govt. of india does.......wouldnt they try it?

people trade in shares, and the rising stars are the most popular ones, the most profitable ones.
so. exactly. you couldnt find a better investment than undeluded.

thus, all I had to do
was turn on the undeluded charm on full thrust.
give them something concrete as a guarantee.
document it all to make the transaction completely legal.
and I have capital to make something big.

I call this, my 'personality investment concept'

please dont steal it without due credit and permission.

actually Im surprised, that a kid could come up with something brilliant, but then, thats what undeluded was. sparkly. brilliant.
yup.

and then, came the next step of the plan where I use that capital to.....


*hears snoring noise coming in from the screen.

alright alright I get it.

its a long post, and youre not interested.
no more.

feh.

white album

once upon a time.

a deluded person, had an inspiration.
less of an inspiration, and more of insight, he debated.

it was about stars, chocolates and sunlight.
about tennis, labcoats and milk cartons.

he had an idea, which he thought would change the world
a wonderful idea
a gentle idea
an idea which touched his heart to the core, and shook it.

at that moment
with that thought in his mind
everything, seemed okay
the world wasnt bad
he wasnt lonely
chocolate milkshake couldnt beat strawberry(it still cant)

he was always, a laidback guy
(he always lay-ed in the back and slept)
but this idea,
made him see everything, in a different light
the world was seen in shades of purple, and it seemed great

it was as if his eyes were always closed
and he was groping for the truth
and that idea, had been the truth that he groped for
he groped the air around him
he caught it
he shouted out 'yay'





and then he opened his eyes.






the whole class was staring at him.

he got his attendance cut off for sleeping(and dreaming, and making weird gestures while sleeping) in class


oh, well
life's like that.
at least he still had the idea

wait.

what was the idea again?
damn.
he forgot.

thats why one wise man once said, when you wake up, effing write it down!

of tetrapak and hot girls who are interested in me

the deluded view on various topics - chapter 21 section 75


tetrapak

yup.

youre walking, you havent had anything to eat since morning and then, suddenly, you see.

a goddess.

juice.

200 ml of fruity goodness.

with a straw.

and when youre almost done.
you suck.(thats what she said ;) )

you try to take in that last 30 ml of juice.
effing straw.
you tilt the pack, put the straw to its ideal position. squeeze. suck.
but, there's still some left.
effing straw.

you shake the pack, you feel it, the tempting juice.

you want it.

200 ml of fruity goodness that you'll never completely have.


but it will, never, give itself up.
(the juice probably thinks something like- you can have my body, but not my heart, huh?)

and you give up.
and your day shall be bad.

thats why I like appy.
at least they have the sense of putting a peel away on top. so you can have that last bit too.

more to the point, look what frooti has as a publicity poster.

pretttyy suggestive.(thats what he said)





NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.

is there?
*looks innocently





ahem.

now to the second part of the post.

I know what youre thinking.

what about the hot girls who are interested in me, you ask?

where are the hot girls who are interested in me, you ask?

exactly.

if you find them, please redirect here.

thanks.

when it all comes tumbling down

take a step forward
and dont ever look back.

was what you had decided, wasnt it?

its just a gash.
this scar will heal, you thought.
it isnt so bad, It can be lived with.

was what you reasoned to yourself, wasnt it?

everything, is in the end, temporary.
I'll change myself.
and then everything will be fine.

was what you planned, wasnt it?

that night, with a heavy heart
and eyes so wet
you slept

so you could dream of a better ending, right?

people are logical.
people are just.
the world can be fair, you just need to trust

was what you hoped for, didnt you?




life, is supposed to be a straight line
so that you can go forwards, with each step

but, now youre in a circle
that you keep coming back to

and you wonder.
why.

is it even worth it?
Im righteous, but why is the world still so cruel?
it isnt fair, was it ever just?
I cannot forget, those feelings are too deep

is what you think now.

and I.
I cant give you any hope.

the questions you ask.
the thoughts you think.

I cant hope to ever answer them, no one can.

the pain you carry. shall always pierce.
but, the paths you took, are worth remembering
the parts you carved, are worth keeping
even if there is a price.

maybe one day, you'll find another shoulder
to help carry your burden
because you carry the greatest weight of all
but you cannot share it

youre made that way, right?
to carry, without flinching
the turmoil stays within
the empty smile you give
is mistaken for being shallow
but they look at your lips


and not your eyes, do they?


but, remember.

all things, that give, dont always have to recieve
the wind that touches your face
shall always be there
never leaving
always giving.

and the only true feelings that I can pass on to you
is one of belief.
the burden, you can carry,
and only you can carry it

you'll shed these tears again.
so that no one else has to.

you'll do it.

because,
youve never been pure.
but youve always been good.

and as I see you

walking on that thorny road.
with nothing for company but the wind.

you look at me
and smile
a smile you learned to smile, through your tears
a smile of companionship, of love, of laughter and of pain
a smile of the world

and I stare into those eyes
that best shade of brown

you pierce me
and I see you
like you should be seen
the greatest, you have always been

and I smile back

for I shall never forget.
these unchanged feelings you shared.
these unsaid words I felt.

filler: the reason to be be be....scared

yes, my friends.

I have just escaped an international calamity.

my bus was about to be blown up, but deluded, becomes the hero and saves the day!


let me explain.

yours truly, was riding the bus. going back to his room after a long journey.
just being normal.
sleeping in the bus.
and then HE came in.

the local don.
how I do I know that he's a don?

simple.

fully clothed in white? check
4 wives and 10 children in tow? check
white turban? check
golden chain around neck? check
golden glasses? WTF! check!
golden rolex? check!
big huge pack in his hands which he guards with his life? check!

uptil now, he could just be an innocent foreigner from saudi arabia(you oil-runs-in-your-veins you!)
but then, on closer inspection. the rolex is a fake.

so?
so.

if you can afford a family of 20, god everything, but not a real rolex watch, youre a localite.
hence he can only be a local kannada don. or a suicide bomber.

at this point, I dared to take a picture.





someone call the bomb squad!!!

hence he turns and punches. and then since he has been exposed, goes out, disgusted.

deluded takes 95 points of damage and saves the day!
one hit, taken for the public! yay me!

just, someone do something about this swelling on my face.



in other news.

I went on a guy's shopping spree.
whats that mean?
food. food. drinks. and a four letter word that all guys buy but dont tell any girls about.
what did you think a guy's shopping is like?
clothes? get a life.
it took a total of 5 mins that.

also

I have a cold.
which led me to ponder.

what a girl thinks if she catches a cold: damn. I have a cold! now my nose will be all red and runny! and my makeup! oh god! what will happen when he sees me! ho god! just kill me now! f*cking cold!

what a guy thinks if he catches a cold: damn. I have a cold! now I wont be able to smell what I eat! or a hot girl's perfume! dayum. oh. wait. if I fart I dont smell it. if I dont take a bath, doesnt matter! this fucking rocks dude!

okay. okay. its what we THINK. not DO.
who would be crazy enough to DO that?

not me.
I wouldnt DO that.
nor any guy!
but its always good to have an option!
even if you dont DO it.

anyway. since you always complain I never say anything about myself in post.
the next 3 posts will be an insight into the deluded mind. IF you want it to be, that is.

P.S. see the emphasis on the word - DO?

hot girls of blogger,


please do me.