Of clouds and miniskirts

I know what you're thinking. those dont really match, right?
damn you god and you logical world you.
rainy season should be filled with all hot girls taking out their less used skimpy clothings and showing some legs. because well, things are gonna get dirty anyway, right?

i meant if they wear jeans, theyre gonna get dirty.
but i like the way you think *winks

oh well. lucky for me, Im zen.
If i was the ruler of the world, everybody's breakfast would look like this



whaat eef yuu are vegetarian you ask?
ummm. have a sandwich.

in fact, now i have an idea.

heck, why not make the world vegetarian?
i would totally fund research into making plants which would grow meat instead of leaves and fruits.
ham flavored lettuce, succulent juicy pork potatoes, sausages instead of bhindi and funky beef pineapples.

wait. not pineapples.
because pineapples are evil.


but it makes you wonder, doesnt it?
instead of vegetarians randomly skewering drivers of meat trucks and lynching of the meat store owners, why not use that time to rather, come up with biocrops which take care of both the problems.
what, youre saying that didnt happen?
shit. must. stop. watching. india TV for news.


like buddha once said.
people, less hatin, more lovin.


sorry. wrong picture there....... eh, screw it.

deluded, educating the blogosphere, one wrong picture at a time.

which reminds me. went to Mcdonalds.
its not looking so good these days. or tasting that well either.
Ronald my friend, i always knew you were a pedophile what with so many kids on your lap and that creepy smile on your face, but this is ridiculous!


its seems you should go to a psychiatrist.
also..... probably get a prostrate examination done.


i dont hate you man, but well, just dont really like you either.
except you japanese versions. you guys are cool.


anyway, which again reminds me.
i was outdoor and watching this sexy young miss walking across the street wearing a really fancy hat, when somthing like this happened



which made me think : I would totally spoon her.

i guess it wasnt the poor pigeon's fault. the hat must have really looked like a target from above.
and the pigeon must have been a male.
because when it comes to men, micturition and seeing anything that resembles a target..........

women call it peeing, men call it target practice.
hey, hate the game, not the player!

and get that mental image out of your mind. you dirty dirty person.


which reminds me. my eyes are red (too much videos seen on youtube)(yes, youtube)(only that)(nothing else, really)(pinky swear)*crosses fingers

"beautiful veins in bloodshot eyes" has always been one of my favorite collection of words but i can never seem to get it inside an actual sentence.
any suggestions?

anyway. chill out dudes. the weather is awesome.

it started around a week before today.
now it feels like eternity.

sonali.
i had seen her for the first time, at the mess.....well, in a mess...

it was 2 pm, and since that's when lunch break ends, everyone was in a rush. i had just had my
food and was washing my hands when i saw a hottie in a red salwar, washing her hands right next
to me.
she was hot.
oh whatta rack man.

anyway, continuing the story
I washed my hands, and as i was going outside, i felt someone stepping on my foot. I turned around, to see a girl holding a half filled food tray. most of which, was on her jeans now. she looked around, but nobody stopped to help. everyone was late. thats life. deal with it. that's when i got the sms that changed my life that day :
'dude. no need to come. class cancelled, got all present'

i looked up from my phone to see that she was still squatting on the floor, trying to clean up. I went up next to her, picked up her tray, put it in the washing tray, without a single attempt to speak to her. i came back to see her flick off pieces of gobhi masala with her index finger

you should play carrom, i said, as i handed her a tissue paper to wipe the gravy off her.
are you an item girl? you have loads of 'masala' (mental jump : woohoo! I'm on fire)
she laughed. a clear sonorous laugh.
no, Im sonali, she said
and late for class? i added
no use now.....i'l be thrown out anyway, so..... she said
same here, I lied
can i treat you with coffee?

that's how it started

we talked that whole day.
and the next.
and the next.

how come you dont have a boyfriend? i finally ventured
because Im into girls she winked and laughed (oooooh that laugh.....)
what a coincidence, Im a lesbian too, i said
she laughed (naaice.) but dont you need to be a girl to be that?
it's not the gender, it's the state of mind, i replied
you're funny, she said
thanks, I smiled
by the way, that masala joke you made, was so lame, but i couldnt help but laugh, she winked


that night
(is she into me? is she into me? is she into me? is she into me? Im hungry. do i have chips? do I have chips? do i have chips?)

i told my best friend Asha about her
tell me tell me tell me tell me, is she into me? i asked
lemme look at her myself first...... she finally agreed, hesitant

that day, asha 'coincidentally' came to where we were talking, next to a fountain. they hit it off pretty well. and soon were talking like bff's (how i hate that word)
she's the most awesome girl Ive met, sonali texted later
i love her, texted asha

so, what's your expert advice? I asked, later
well, I can tell you she isnt dating any guy right now, at the least.... asha said
oh asha, if you werent my best friend, I'd be dating you , I kidded
yeah right, she picked her nose while saying that

(woop woooop wooooooooooooooop)
its funny how if you get even a slightly positive answer, you start jumping out of your pants

i feel different, with you.........so comfortable.....like i can open up, and Ive never felt that with any guy...only with girls..... she said
open up then, i joked with a hand signal which is too graphic to write it down (kids these days have internet)
she laughed (so awesome.....) Im serious
awww....... cho cute, I mimicked her
Im not cute! I feel like Im a guy trapped in a girl's body! Im so different that what you think i am! she said
okay okay, cool down dude, I panicked
anyway, like i was saying, she continued as if nothing had happened a few seconds before

(present day)

morning thoughts
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)
thoughts in class
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)
thoughts at lunch (she wasnt there.....she had gone out shopping with asha)
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)
thoughts in the evening
(i should ask her out, ask her out, ask her out)

meet me at 9, next to the fountain, we'll have dinner after that, I messaged
okay :) my treat, i have good news, she replied
lol, did you finally get a dress to wear after window shopping in 20 shops? ;) I texted
you'd be surprised ;) meet you there! she replied

thoughts at 8 30
(flowers, flowers, flowers, fuck i forgot)

i ran off in the opposite direction of the fountain, towards a place where no one has seen me in or around.....the flower shop, it's there that i saw at the edge of the road, behind a tree......


it all came back to me

'Im into girls'
'she's the most awesome girl Ive met'
'i love her'
'she isnt dating any guy right now, at the least'
'Ive never felt that with any guy...only with girls'
'Im so different that what you think i am!'

i remembered the glint in their eyes when we all sat together next to the fountain....
i could see the same glint in their eyes now, while they caressed each other's bodies, i imagined a fire in the air around them

i turned around and went back to my room



learn from my failure : next time a girl says she's into girls, ask : seriously?!!!


okay. that was fictional.
but you got all turned on, eh?

here, cool down with the cool band that i just discovered

(thanks for the link Saima!)

bwahahahaha!

new favorite quote of all time :

kya watermelon ass hai yaar



XD

in the beginning of mankind, there was a king, and he could partay like the mountains snowed

Good morning you sleepy cows


ABCD's coming!

now if you're not a manipalite, you're probably scratching your head right now

you manipalites are smiling.


and all of you guys, who have come here to look at something perverted, which, according to the search queries on my blog, are a LOT!

well. umm. hi
*waves

deluded: doing socially inappropriate things since the dawn of mankind.

also, who came to my blog by searching world's prettiest person?!
lol

well, since you are all hungover, lets give you something to wake up

have some lime juice.


i bet you didnt realise that the picture was blurry huh?
it happens.

okay. so. back to ABCD.

i finally found out it stands for : annual ball cum dinner
and not what i had previously thought : All the Babes in Class Drunk dancing

although, that is a big part of what is going to happen....

welcome to ABCD after party, the drunkeiest junkiest hottest and the most fun party you will experience in mbbs.
unless, youre one of those nerdy guys who stand in the corner of the room and stare at girls you like
or, youre one of those nerdy girls who come fully clothed in a salwar that drapes around your neck and is a faded pukey yellow in color......WHY?!!!
or those of you who are going for abcd, and not coming for the after party.

so, here's some pointers to all of you guys wondering about how you should go about it.

the full abcd package consists of :

part 1 : ABCD proper

description:

everybody has to sit, the guys in suits and the girls in sarees, in that boring college function which falls into my category of parties as 'uncle aunty function' and watch someone sing with a veena, or if worse, see the dean jiggle his thang to kajra re. i just hope our kind and respected staff, with a slightly high BMI do not think of doing thing something on a similiar line


blegh.

disturbing image.
just imagine older people.



and then we'll have some food to eat
going by the falling level of our college day food, i would ask some of you to......use caution


pluses:
see crush in saree
other hot girls in saree, laughing around and talking about lame stuff.
food might be good.

minuses:
uncle aunty function
lots and lots of that.
getting hot inside a big huge suit which you'll have to pwn from some place.
food might be bad

suggested plan of action:
get high.
antiemetic in case of food failure.

part 2 : after party

description:

biggest party of the year. hot girls strutting their stuff. most people drunk. some in the corner sitting and drinking juice and getting awkard. some outside, puking, coming back in for more booze. and at random dark corners of the night some lucky guys making out with hot girls.
this, till next day, when you can have a hungover breakfast and go back.

pluses:
get to drink with your crush and have interesting conversations.
lots of other hot girls just in case.
drunk.
hopefully.

minuses:
ummm....

suggested plan of action:
get high. as high as you ever have. and then, more.
dont persist on a girl who doesnt respond when you hit her up. or she might cry rape(knowledge taken from a wise senior)(and ive always said : drunk girls go both ways)(you dirty minded person)
get someone to make out with you.
if you dont, just get more high. it's worth it.


okay, so now the biggest part

GET A HOT DATE.

and i dont mean read the book!
get a proper living walking drinking making out sort of date.

so, all you guys out there, get your gears running and ask almost anyone you can

and if you're a hot girl reading this, and you're free, please gimme your number!


peace out.

Intro and contact

hi, and welcome to delusional rain

now, you all might be wondering(specially all you hot girls out there)

"wow! you're hot!"

no?

i didnt exactly get the reaction i expected. but, oh well.

carrying on

you're wondering what's with that blog title?
awesome.

you see, i was inspired, by a wonderful wonderful link on youtube.
you wanna see right?
here you go









oh. sorry. wrong one.
but that DID make me think : maybe i should change it to deluded chopsticks.
or jelly donuts.
any takers for that?

so. here's the real one :



agreed?
rain is. awesome.


also,
after i got the title part done, there's that little annoying space right below it.
subtitle/ description/ little header/ gumball/ chasm of death. call it what you want, but its an important part of the blog, right?

so, i got a few ideas.

delusional rain
gets you wet with excitement(as in, it rains excitement?)(you. dirty mind. stop grinning)

and then i wondered, would blogger throw me off because of that? probably.

delusional rain
saves you from the sunlight

then these two images got into my mind.

the only people who'd hide from the sun would be...... twilight thingies


and this guy.




wouldnt want any of that. definitely.

delusional rain
batman is awesome.

still wondering on that one....

delusional rain
got milk?

no? damn.


sigh.
oh well.

Im still.......looking for the answer.....






also, if you wanna send me some

1. questions(for delusional answers)
2. money
3. just wanna say hi
4. you're the one who stole my umbrella and want to return it
5. your mail ids or phone numbers

mail me at : alwaysritwick@gmail.com

or hit me up on facebook

http://www.facebook.com/ritwickchatterjee

peace.

the yellow back canary

tweet tweet a yellow back canary
did you know your beak was hairy
i bet that that was not intended
you should sue nature, get money and spend it
roses are not quite so nice
wouldnt you rather be smelling rice?
play a card game, with a dice
if its more fun that way, play twice
i get that you ...are tired and weary
but you say that its quite contrary
kittens can be rude and scary
but dont worry, cause your beak is hairy!

your mind is a double egded....... tomato!

I was in the library, and.....

blood.

my blood.

bloody red blood.

red, dark blood.

red, frank blood.

red, frank, copious amount of blood.

red, frank, copious amount of blood.

yeah, well, i kind of ran out of medical terms to describe blood.
now, if you had thought 'sputum', THATS another story.

every medical student has a different description of sputum.
we're bred to believe sputum can look like a strawberry milkshake(pink and frothy) or coffee(no biggie - coffee colored sputum) or that it can rust(rusty sputum) or even paan

colored because you know, you just had a paan, and you LIKE paan)

that reminds me.
this movie has such a funky name.
even if the poster is one of the lamest ones Ive seen.



that also reminds me,
inflation from the point of view of a paan waala i met, inflation is something similiar to flatulence.



also, overheard in a train
'har aadmi ke peeche ek mahila hoti hai, aur uske peeche, sonia gandhi'
hard thought to ponder about.


so, i went to the library the other day
where the latest(since like 2 years, Im not sure, I rarely GO) trend is of low rise jeans.

hot girls have been making pretty good use of it, flouting their thangs.



the guys, however, not so much.

its not a low rise, if you just wear your normal jeans lower than where its supposed to be.

seriously.
it looks like you have no ass.

unless, its a bit too revealing.



okay.
that was a disturbing image in your head, specially if youre a guy and youve been to the library.

here.
hot chick, to refresh your mind.




oh, yes, the blood, you were wondering, werent you?

connect all the bloody red letters in the post, and you shall unravel the mystery.


get to work, lads.

I was in the library and.......

:P