tripartite.

thats an 'e' at the end. not 's'.
pervs.

part1 : sexual approaches

so. yes.

mangalore bus trip.

what do manipalites do for fun, you ask?
they go to the closest mall available.

which is a 2 hr bus drive away.

deluded fail.
nausea win.

case1: sitting at the last bench of the bus. out of six seats, 5 are taken. there's a space between me and a hot MIT chick.
rest of the bus=empty
a very kuntry uncle suddenly comes up and sits between us.
oh well, naive naive me thinks he just came to see the MIT chick and maybe grope.

aaah. india.

well. if only it was that simple.
uncle then decides its a good idea to start rubbing his thighs against mine.

mangalore bus trip: the EFFING FREAKING OUT version

case2: uncle finally gets up. deluded breath of security.

random MIT guy with pubes for hair comes up and sits in the space instead.
oh well. he cant be worse.

deluded: hoping in vain that something good might happen for 21 yrs.

said MIT guy the proceeds to sleep. on the shoulder of........wait for it........NOT the hot MIT chick.
stupid brainless git.
2 hours of shoulder pain.

oh well, the good thing was, it happened to be a conversation starter with the mit chick.
I said: I have attractive shoulders, it seems. everybody's heads just seem to.......
she: smiles

classic

deluded: not classy since 1988

so, events like these, coupled with the fact that whenever I eat out, I find some
random person staring at me always. have made me recount my luck.

to read my first such encounter, go here

damn you FSM.



yup. poor homme.

deluded: hit on by the wrong kind of people in the wrong kind of way.

life: not going good ever since section 377 was taken out.

part2: harish patel

thats what the indian harry potter is called.

what did I do in mangu, you ask?
movie of course.

right choice because:
hot girl sitting next to me, making orgasmic sounds at every scene
emma watson has grown, in the right places

wrong choice because:
it seemed like a chick flick. with 90% of the audience being girls(right choice because : good view)
mangalore bus trip.
had to hide face from a lot of batchmates, to avoid questions on manliness.

also, I noticed that harry potter has boobies.

during the last scene of the movie, while I was watching emma watson's chest face, I saw that the guy had a bigger chest face.
diagnosis: gynaecomastia

actual reason: wind


part3: hot girls

firstly, its a sad sad day for bloggerworld.

a hot bloggergirl is leaving us, it seems.

so, please.
go here and leave a comment asking her to come back.

much love.


secondly, a good friend of mine from college(hot girl, of course) tells me that there are 2 other hot girls who wouldnt mind going out for dinner with me.

although she tells me that they were actually high and said that sarcastically.
and afterwards downed a whole litre of booze at a go.
and then killed a snake.
and then read a forensic medicine book.
ate an elephant.
and kissed manmohan singh.


wild thing.
you make my heart sing.

sigh.

deluded: not getting hit upon since 1850


part4: bonus

going to chennai on thursday!
for a measly day and a half.


brother getting his degree.

official reason: me going to represent the family at the convocation

actual reason: me going to see the drinking party afterwards.

what'll I do there, you ask.

eat peanuts.



also.

the people who came to this blog by searching 'hot indian girl washing clothes' through google.

I hope you had a good lesson.





pervs.

let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams

A wise man once said

it doesnt rain in manipal
it pours.

actually, that would be a good thing.


but it doesnt JUST rain.

it comes with heavy horizontal rain, free of cost.




which turns something like this in the imagination



into this(as demonstrated by my good chinky dost)




and then, the umbrella goes from something like this




to this(as demonstrated by babu lal and his wife)



also, the rain drops dont just go pitter patter against your umbrella
each drop drops with a bang.

which makes you imagine something like this




as this




and thus while travelling from your hostel to the hospital(something like 5 mins by foot)

you end up

wet, cold , very wet, very cold and late for class.

also, you might end up outside of class as well.


but, there is one remedy to this.


and that is







and then, if youre lucky, you might get to see



(picture inserted due to popular demand)



I could totally do that.

if only there wasnt a class to go to.

feh.

and someone once sang


Once the cloud that's raining
Over your head disappears
The noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years


sigh.

however, what I say is,

it doesnt pour in manipal.
it rains.

sometimes beautifully.

She's got you high, and you dont even know it

aah. yes.

where was I?
you dont wanna know.


Hmm.

hot baths are nice.

how many times have you thought that?
7-8 times a month?

hot baths are a power of good.

how many times have you thought THAT?

I just had a nice hot bath. while listening to aerosmith at full volume and surrounded by the scent of strawberry and mint.

it was beautiful. it felt like........



where am I, you ask?
the one taking the picture probably( story of my life, sigh.)
alright alright.

just kidding. dont get any lawsuits on me. got that off the internet!

on that thought, please dont google image search 'hot bath' ever. unless youre a pervert.

back on track,
I shall now dub this theme of hot water bathing - last of the mohicans living of the dead deluded moonsault skywing style.

its a short meaningful name.
and its different from the normal hot steamy bath*.



*hot steamy bath

defined as a bath so hot, that if you stand up you shouldnt be able to see your toes, due to too much steam around**

**unless youre so fat you couldnt even before, you fat bastard.

as defined by the official luikal's classification of hot water baths***

***luikal's classification of hot water baths

grade 1 - mildly hot - temperature>30<38
grade 2 - blood hot - temperature of the blood(as taken from a normal human without fever)(extended to 40)
grade 3 - medial hot - temperature: 40-50
grade 4 - highly hot - 50-64.73
grade 5 - severely hot - >64.73
special grade - steamy hot

as given by the international society of hot water baths****

****international society of hot water baths

a society of like minded wise, elite people who fight for the good of the world, with the holy power of hot water baths.
this society is headed by his highness dhongi baba and consists of few elite fighters who have unimaginable hot water powers.
the society continues the ancient trend of bathing water enriched with the earth's natural form and energy handed down by god during genesis.
and it fights the dark menacing cold shower society.

more on the society later.

Im too tired from fighting a member from the cold shower society.

sigh.
maybe I should take a steamy hot bath.

diagnosis : PMS

"Infectious diseases will last as long as humanity itself"


The Pseudo Maal Syndrome(attituditis)

"of the two PMSs, the worse one to have-Dick Cranius"


PMS may be defined as infection of the brain of a healthy young female with unhealthy thoughts and hallucinations about her own importance.
such afflicted persons have been termed at various times as the wannabe maals, the kim sharmas, she-who-must-not-be-named and many other synonyms, listing of which would be too exhaustive for this book.

Problem statement

WORLD

being an highly infectious disease, PMS is endemic in mot developing countries, with frequent outbursts of minor and major outbreaks.
the exact incidence amounts to, according to WHO about 10-27 women per 100 are affected annually.
also, like chickenpox almost all girls have been afflicted by it at least once before they reach 20.
again, also like chickenpox, the clinical features are more prominent and exaggerated in case of adult life.

INDIA

for practical purposes, India can be divided into areas of low, intermediate and high endimicity.
the exact incidence of PMS in india is not known. however, the Indian literature is replete with numerous reports of sporadic and epidemic occurrence of this disease in various cities, residential colonies and campuses.

Epidemiological determinants

Agent factors

(a)AGENT: the causative agent, named the attivirus from the attiviridae family of viruses.
(b)RESISTANCE: the virus is fairly resistant to heat and chemicals. even pepsi.
(c)RESERVOIR: the human cases are the only reservoir of infection.

Host factors

(a)AGE: attivirus infection is more common in young adults and adolescents.
(b)SEX: affects only females. although some male cases have also been reported.
(C)IMMUNITY: no effective immunological response has been observed.

Enviromental factors

cases may occur throughout the year. and can occur in any area.

Modes of transmission

(a)by contact with infected host/
(b)sometimes, even just by looking.

Clinical features

the clinical spectrum of PMS may vary from a mild illness to a severe form.


however the salient features of attivirus-infection may be summarized as:
1. sudden change in attire, leaning towards the skimpier version
2. sudden liking of expensive, tasteless as well as unaffordable goods.
3. staring down of any person that is looking at the patient, or even persons who are not.
4. sudden liking of shows like roadies, splitsvilla and other reality shows.
5. sudden hanging out with persons suffering from severe bitchitis.
6. a profile on a social networking site, suddenly sprouting pictures in random poses,and also of random stuff, like feet, cats and whatnots.

other related symptoms and signs may also be present.


Complications

in most cases it is a self-limiting disease.
however in immunocompromised and depressed patients it may have a fulminant course.

Diagnosis

is based on clinical findings.

Control

its OUTOFFRIGGINCONTROL dude.

Prevention

run. fast. as fast as your feet can take you.



for the medical people reading this, yes, it IS in fact made in the format of K.Park, nightmare of all.

hmm. long one. I know.
also, an announcement.

HIATUS SEMILUNARIS
starting today, this blog will be on a hiatus for a month.
its not writer's block. its something else.
other blogs shall not be read.and comments shall not be replied to.
for a month, that is.

will be back, on or before 15th july.

we shared a moment that will last till the end.

things that pisses off the cow outside my hostel, while he's facebooking/orkutting/blogging

where did I see a cow, you ask?
are you sure youre in india, I ask.

but why does it have a facebook profile, orkut profile AND a blog, you ask?
this is manipal, yo!
he is an urban indian cow, dumbass.
he's classy and not rural.

he's christian.
and his name is bob.

he's bob the male cow.

how do I know that he's a guy-cow?
because he's in love with ganga the hyderabadi cow.

why is he a cow and yet a male?
genetic engineering.

err. yes.

so I had this conversation with bob over coffee at CCD(the one in front of the engineering college, central library doesnt allow cows inside, feh, racists.)
he likes frappe the most, if you want to know.





OOOPS.

wrong picture.








aah. yes. back to the topic.

bob tells me that he gets really pissed off with some orkut and facebook profiles that he's been seeing lately.

1. uncool studs who act like studs and put ER in front of their names.

what is WRONG with these people, bob says.at first I thought it was some really cool degree of something.that you get that title after doing lots of hard work, like Dr. or Prof. or Count.

then I go and ask one of them.and he says thats because he got into an engineering college.which is not even IIT.

meh. stupid humans.

dude! you dont even know the proper use for hair gel! its not for head hair*!! and youre already balding! please take out the title.




2. you know the sites that let you put up your picture in some imaginary billboard.

and you put that picture on your album, not one but 20+ of them in different poses!!! wtf!

seriously. Ive been a brand promoter for nandini milk, and your move is just uncool and unprofessional.



3. people who like to tYpE lIkE tHiS. aNd tHiNk tHaT iTs rEaLly cOoL.

err. should I even say anything?
I appreciate you for your hard work with the shift button. but. thats it.



4. he does not hate alpa chino. he loves alpa chino.
alpa chino is god.booty sweat and bust-a-nut forever!



5.he hates people who will just read this post, and not comment.
lazy ass lazyasses!



err. thats it.

more from my bob the cow later.
over our bi-weekly coffee get-together.(not that there's anything wrong with that statement)

*its for the tail.
what were you thinking?

how high can you fly with broken wings?

the sun had set.
but it wasnt exactly night.

there were dark clouds around.
but it wasnt exactly raining.

exams were close.
but he didnt really feel like studying.

'how apt' he thought.

the world was still, as if waiting for something.
holding its breath. for the beginning of something.

'probably rain. the calm before the storm?'

he used to take lots of walks. long ago.
going out at night. during times, when the roads were least likely to be crowded.
for the exact thing that he hated, being alone.
his weekly ritual.
but that had stopped.
why?

'because, now Im always alone'


he used to have his own spot.
to sit. to think. to eat. to stare at the world.
but he didnt go there that day.

'too many sad emotions are linked to it'

he did what he used to do when he was a kid.
take the first right on every turn that he encountered.

he knew how to get back to his hostel again.
but he had no idea where he was.

'probably, I'll end up lost, or in a ditch'

he was at a high place.
probably.
the amount of wind, hinted at it.

he saw a light.
the familiar flame of a lighter.
and he went towards it.

'I need a smoke'

she was sitting on a rock.
bent over.
trying to protect the flame. unable to light that precious stick between her lips.

'feh. novice'

'here, allow me' he advanced.
she accepted his offer.

he lit it up.
gave it to her.

she tried to act cool, but ended up swallowing instead of breathing.
coughing vigorously.

'your first time?'
'ummm. yeah'

'dont'
'dont what?'
'smoke'

'why not? I can do bloody anything I want to' she got angry
'of course you can, its just not a good thing.its your choice of course'

'exactly, its always my choice. no matter what others say.'
'hmm yeah, you can do whatever you want. because its your responsibility' he said in a dreamy voice

something inside her snapped
she started speaking. and he never stopped her.
she didnt want to stop.
she didnt stop.

then, there was just silence.
she got a message, and she ran off.
'Im sorry. I have to go.'
'take care you'
'as should you'

it didnt rain that night.
but it poured the next day.

someone bumped into him that day. it was her.
but they didnt speak.
it wasnt unexpected though.
he had felt it the previous night.

'of course, thats how she is'


in class, he found a note in his labcoat.

'Im sorry, you know I cant. I wish i could though'

that evening, he saw her again.

'dont worry, I never expected it' he shouted
everyone heard it, but only she knew it was meant for her

she turned and smiled for a moment.


they smile, whenever they see each other.
from that day on.

sometimes, simple relationships, without expectations, are the best relationships.

eat, drink, and be hairy!

so the gears of rumour are turning again.

bongs are obsessed with 3 things - food, movies and CRICKET.
oh, wait. there's also paan.


and how did the kolkata night riders fare this IPL?

"theyre as alive and kicking as this bug underneath my lakhani chappal, says a dada in all his bong glory. and lo, it IS alive and kicking(and screaming perhaps)"

bugs are resilient creatures, and so are bongs, says one ancient legend from the great huge book of bongs*

what may be the reasons for them to fail so miserably this time?

"that fake IPL bass-turd", echoes one young of the 3 young bongies in kurta and jeans

"oori da, ekdom bhalo point bolle, eita to main point hocche(o brother, good point, thats the main point)
that fake IPL guy took us down the drains.
disunity create kore!
deshdrohi shaala!"
agrees bongy 2

and why are you wearing kurta and jeans?
"this happen be besht clothing of india. ekdom INDIgenous" sniggers bongy3
"aamra total intellectual"

then why does it look like you havent changed in the last....erm...3 weeks?
kichu o bole dada, aami mere debo
(he's talking crap bro, I'll hit him)
shaala, you wear clean shirt pant, you firangi, learn to be baangaali
I telling you, that what is causing dishharmoony in knight riders
those shaala bangluulu people send firangi model to our camp along with fake IPL player

and our knight riders become NIGHT riders? I suggest

"exjactly! here, have a paan for that statement, says babu in the paan stall
10 taaka baba, meetha bangla paan! khoob bhaalo khoob bhaalo"

so, what are you going to do this weekend?
"we watch movie in home. golu's mom making good popcorn and paan."

which movie?
"RituPORNO ghosh-er movie.
oi director is khoob classy khoob classy!"

and what else does dada have to say for the general public of this blog?

steps up a philosopher paunchy dada:

"aaare dada, I tell you, jindagi taa khooob bhaalo khoob bhaalo
eat khoob roshogulla
drink lots beer
and have healthy food like paan.
whatsay?"

"khoob bhalo khoob bhalo!"
screams the whole crowd.



*if youre still wondering
I'll publish it as soon as I find a publisher ;)



DISCLAIMER: all bongs are actually sexy, and nice, and sexy, and smart, and sexy, and un-hairy, and sexy and bathe everyday!