funky underwear tantrik sex

good guys never end up good.

looking for updates, werent you?

go away.



shooo!







really. go away.








alright, fine. you win.
I give up.

the reason for unblogging for a while, was, well, I had other things to do!
like sleep, eat a sandwich, sleep, drink milkshake, sleep, rage a war, sleep, play need for speed, sleep, wardrobe malfunction, bite into a chocolate, sleep, you know the usual.

did you catch the wardrobe malfunction in there?
good boy!

on that note, for the slighly deludish readers out there : if it happens inside a single room when youre the only one in it, it cannot be called a wardrobe malfunction.

anyway.

whats with girls and linda goodman?

is it an eternal crush kind of thing?

the breeds of females who know how to brush their hair, is still less than the linda goodman female fan population!

i dont get it.
what the heck?

there are so many snide comment like
oh, he's wierd. must be pisces.
oh, she gets angry easily, must be leo.
oh, thats mud, must be an earth sign.
oh, fountain, water sign ppl must be around.
oh, its a hot girl in a short skirt, must be katrina kaif.
oh, its deluded, lets all go have crazy sex.


some of that may not be the actual comment.


so okay.
i had my future read by some really tantrik people and asked them the eternal question(will i get a girl? ever?)
(mostly on the internet)(because its free)(and free is ALWAYS great!)

palmistry expert: hmm. you have deep lines. your venus mounds are not prominent.
deluded :(venus mounds? WTF!!?)
P: but still, your luck line is tortuous and your life line is intersecting with your brain line which in turn intersects with your t shirt line, that means there is a holy triangle formed inside your pants corner, blah blah blah, other stuff
D:so, the answer to my question............
P: you have a good chance, really. but......
D: but.......?
P: youre a loser.
D> the cursed punch!
P>hospitalised

astrologist: i see that your sun is in a quadrant unfavourable to your neptune tendencies
D: that makes sense. yes. and?
A: your mars tower of babel is nearing its true height, and this shall cause your moon to be specially attracted to someone else's venus mounds.
D:(what is it with venus mounds?!!)
D:so......the answer?
A:youre a loser
A: the future looks bleak, but it shall turn golden if you buy my book(only Rs.735) and follow the direction, take me as your god, and give me money...
D> fist of the sun!
A>black eye

astronomist: erm what?
D: oops. wrong person
A: security!
D>achilles heel!
A>falls to ground clutching

gemologist: i believe what you need is a cat's eye gem on your index finger, that way you'll be less of a loser. or perhaps a sapphire....
D: i believe you need my middle finger up your.......
G>runs away
D>cheh. got away

D:ooh, nice hat with the peacock feather and all
divination person: welcome dear loser, how can i help you today.......
D>divine punishment

girl eating ice cream: youra loosa
D: err, what language? kannada gotilla

security guard: hey lo........
D>hidden buddhist arts: thousand years of pain



so.
anyway.
thats that.

dont you dare say anything starting with 'lo', you twits
(sammy :P)

oh, unless youre a hot girl, and you want to say you love me. then youre pardoned.

babaspeak

jab pait main ho khaana, to sabh kuch suhaana!

what happens when two like minded(crazy) people meet on gtalk

deluded:
eat a plum!
drink some water.
and lick your finger, covered in gum
Sammy:
and jump off a building
deluded:
onto a moti waali lady
sammy: hawwww
deluded:
and bounce off into the next building
sammy: elastic limit ka khayaal karna
warna bounce back ke bajayeee
...
messy scene ho jaye ga
deluded:
keep doing said activity until you cross the ocean
there, eat a bagel
b/c its, you know, international
sammy: haha
deluded:
piss in the open sea
sammy: interpol pakray gi ab
sheesh
deluded:
then piss on interpol waala computer
that make it go, bad booom boom
sammy: AHAHAHAHAHA
sleep with the fishes
lol
deluded:
you cannot possibly piss more, b/c you know.......tanki khaali
Saima: ahahahahah
LMAO
deluded:
so, go slap a french person
sleep with his girlfriend
sammy: she'll slap you
deluded:
shout viva la lalalalalaaaaaaaa
take a bottle of wine, hit it on a bus conductor's head
chop off your little finger
eat another bagel
stop the bleeding by using a silk cloth
wear a turban and shout choco attack!!
go to greece
look at hot greece girls
ask 5 of them out
get rejected
swallow sadness
sammy: dont forget slaps!!
deluded:
fly to mexico
ear a burrito
sammy: die of swine flu
deluded:
fart loudly.
sammy: ahahaha
deluded:
and then let loose a 'silent killer'
sammy: ahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*bangs head on the keyboard
deluded: take a dump behind some bushes, b/c you know, its been a while
sammy: aww becharay
deluded: swim in a river
of mexican beer
sing a hindi song
call a mexican guy and say
hey sombrero
I be el polo loco
bow before me, peasant!
sleep with a hot mexican girl
make sure she takes a bath before though
fly to the moon
bomb the russians from there
sammy: dream on
deluded:
steal some moonshine
sammy: oooh
deluded:
fly to canada
sammy: save some for meeeeee
deluded:
eat a bagel
eat another bagel, its sooo friggin cold
burn the trees
wrestle with a polar bear
hit him between his legs
find out that its a she
run for your life
swim underwater
come up in front of australia
call their prime minister a nigga
eat a hat
eat a bagel. good for digestion
cut your arm off
regenerate.
eat a bagel. youre tired.
slap some australian cricketers.
say wassssuuup matey in a bad
go to a topless beach
throw some money into the sea
catch a crab
eat it
catch a great white shark
cook it into a bagel
eat the bagel
behead yourself
regenerate, with better hair this time
eat chinese food
watch some anime
buy a katana
sammy: in china now?
japan now
deluded:
no no, australia se hi
sammy: hahaha
khan kha tax lagay ga
deluded:
its cheaper there, black market!
sammy: oooh
then dont forget to sell a kidney
deluded:
cut off australia with your super great ultra super sword
into 3 parts
eat one part
slash everything, until only the topless beach is left
hang out there for a week
sammy: HAHAHA
deluded:
bomb the russians
see some diff types of 'bomb' at the beach
ooooh. missiles!
fly into the sun
sammy: torpedos
deluded:
lol
throw fireballs from there to saturn
burn saturn
sammy: great
deluded:
burn china
sammy: u went off to teh universe
but u didnt visit pakistan
deluded:
go to pakistan
eat kebabs
sammy: chicken walay!
sastay walay
deluded:
look at legendary hot lahori girls
sammy: :P
deluded:
meet a karachite chick
sammy: *snort
deluded:
touch her hand
get chased by extremists due to it
run to the middle east
sammy: hahaha
deluded:
sell your pee as water(theyd buy anything. yellow liquid gold? no?)
you know, b/c its been a while
eat a bagel
fly to mt everest
take a dump there, to make it 2 inches taller
fly to europe
get high on weed
get into a gay club
run the fuck out
sammy: a friend with weed is a friend indeed(sammyism)
deluded:
get into a lesbian club
announce that, since you like girls, you MUST be lesbian
have a threesome
fly to africa
do the kamehameha wave(dragonball Z)
take out africa with it
take out a giant whale, throw it on top of asia
let it sink due to its weight
bomb the russians
eat a bagel. tired.
pee on the americans
eat a mexican
bomb russia
burn south america
eat a german
eat a bagel
take a dump in the ocean
bomb whatevers left
fly into the sun
bomb earth
let it burst
go into hibernation, for future generations
remember to keep an extra large supply of bagels
never know when you need em
hmmmm
yeah
Im done :)
sammy: *silent treatment
deluded:
dude. Im SO posting this on my blog!
sammy: yeah you should!!!

food law 15

that which hast burned while going in shall also burn while it cometh out.

Im a slow motion accident

the sky looks dark
but the clouds, glitter away
you take the world and grasp on it
holding everything
that you could feel

moon go ahead, and talk to me
tell me everything
that we could be

you take your hand
and feel the wind
and all I see
is a perfect shine
your bright eyes, show a glint of red
you scan the sky
with a turn of head

the trees wave their,
branches
asking you, to sway their way

moon go ahead, and talk to me
tell me all the things
that you can see

your eyes, are black and watery
they remind me
of saucerpans
the innocence you dream with
is never unwanted

you stand, all alone
watching me watching you
on a hilltop of, pretty green
and all I am, is holding breath

just because you know Im there
youre waiting, with a permanent stare
I raise my hand and reach for you
wanting everything, and everytime

moon go ahead, and come to me
forget all the things
that you can see

I watch you, running
and I stand there, just waiting
with outstretched hands, I wait for you
feeling every breath, watching every move

moon go ahead, and hug me tight
lose your every fear
because, this is too right

that perfect touch, that we can feel
youre my bird, and Im your tree
with the wind, your hair flows free
with your eyes closed
you can see

your hands feel hungrily
your breath does smell, chocolaty
the warmth you need
is in our bodies

moon go ahead, and kiss me
lets be everything
that we can be

whats more random?

crying out 'domestic violeeeence' everytime someone fights



or.......




crying out 'dieeeeee! peter pan!!!!!!!!!!!!' at random times during the day


??

statistics has it

if they were given that option





more guys would turn lesbian than girls turn gay.

deluded rant: self made

a three course meal :

bread pizza
egg chowmein
sausages and scrambled eggs

with pineapple juice to go


a satisfied tummy.
a constant grin.
the smell of barbecue percolating in every wall of the room, all my clothes and even my pillow for at least a week more.

heaven.

whatever you're going through, its not worth dying.

swine flu, nibes and chowmein


so. yes. old news first.

swine flu came to manipal. yes.
people got infected.yes.
a student got infected. yes.
lots of post graduates got infected. yes.

did we get a holiday?



umm.



no.

the problem with medical colleges, is, that the dean is also a doctor.

and theyre not scared easily, be it swine flu or amy winehouse or even asia sarkar.


vibes 09

the poster for it shows joker(from the now famous batman movie) in a foggy background.
writing with lipstick :

vibes so serious...?
(seriously dudes. just because it rhymes doesnt mean it fits!)


as usual, with each year, the college fest t shirt gets worse and worse.

I just dont get it.
they put an inverted color MJ oh the back, show an umbrella a rain cloud and other crappy things and wrote something equating vibes with why(dude. just because it rhymes..... no wait. it doesnt even rhyme dammit!) that I dont remember(and I dont even wanna!)
that seems like a potential success from theory.
but they managed to make even that really really sucky.
and then tried to sell it for 225 rs.

anyway.
when a blank page was passed around with the following written on it : names for vibes T shirt

the batchmates came up with replies:

ugh!
argh!
awwwww.
not needed.
NAD
micheal jackson?!!
you aint got my size, I aint got your money
cant I just borrow yours?
no
it sucks!
T shirt- WHAT TSHIRT?!!!!
WTF??

and my personal favourite:

meanies!



a total of one person was actually willing to buy that t shirt.

you could have made the t shirt pink, drawn flowers on it, written gay revolution on it, and it would still sell more that what they tried.

I mean, come on.
even if you just wrote vibes 09 on the front, kmc manipal at the back people would buy it in dozens.

uh-oh. perhaps I said that too loudly.

they did that.

with one modification.

they put a huge line in front of vibes, now making it nibes (no, vibes?)

sigh.



ingenuity and good business sense:



not yours.definitely.


chowmein

have now made roommade chowmein.
which actually doesnt taste too bad.
so that, now increases the spectrum of my self sustenance cooking by a good huge margin.

thats one small step for man.
one giant leap for hostelfoodkind.






sigh.

your body is a wonderland

a friend and I were discussing.

why it would have been so easy if we had just taken commerce for our 10+2. because then...


1.we would have not had to study our asses off in school
2.or college
3.or later
4.by the age that we get our degrees in medicine, we would have been earning.
5.a shit load of money
6.which would be greater than a doctor's peak anyday.
7.all the 'cool' and non nerdy and hot girls are there.
8.we would have gotten laid.
9.we would have smoked pot by 17.
10.we would have gotten laid. multiple times.
11.we would be wearing low waist jeans and the same color of jockeys(we would own just one) everyday
12.we would have gotten laid.mutliple times.by multiple people.
13.medical students would be cursing our luck on how we manage to earn, have a girlfriend and enjoy life while they dont even have a degree.
14.we would have pubic hairstyles on top of our heads.
15.we wouldnt have been able to crib about anything and everything.
16.we would be in a drunken stupor right now.
17.and on muchloadsofweed.
18.we woulnt be cribbing about singleton.we would have said that it rocks.
19.and none of us would have a blog, unless it was ordered to us by our girlfriends.
20.oh!we would have girlfriends!
21.hot ones.



this guy took the right decision in 10+2





this guy took biology, it seems.





but you know. I still wouldnt trade my places with a commerce guy right now. thats because....
we may crib, but we have our pride(something only med students may understand)
huge self respect.
loads of money, someday, hopefully.
a future plan.
work enjoyment(not applicable to students)
emphysema and cirrhosis on a later stage of life.
straight hair.
mutiple pairs of underwear.

unless of course I get a hot girl in the exchange
then, toh..........


*this was a work of fiction and of multiple drunk medical students.
*not resembling anyone in reality and not made to make fun of others.
*unless you really DO have one pair of underwear and pubic hairstyles.
*dude. thats sick.
*eww.

Guest post : tumultuous suspension

so. yes. Im lazy.





and awesome.



hence, I got this awesome hot blogger woman to write for me.

a little background first-
she's hot.
lives in a metro.
has a huge house worth around a million bucks (frigging rich, in short)
has a swimming pool in that house.
also has a pool table.
and a tennis court.
and likes to hire beyonce for evening music.
also, she's hot.
and has promised to pay me 2000 rs for this.
and treat me to milkshakes.
yay.


so, here goes :


A heel scrape against the floor
A roll of tissue one just tore
A subdued cough behind the door
A silent phone on vibrate mode

Strange, but it does upset,
Innocent bathroom sounds
Are always suspect.




.........

short and sweet.


thats how a girl once described my............



little finger.

pervs.


I tried getting you all a picture, because she's so hot, but *privacy*

hence, the closest I got to was through google image search :




apparently she ended up with jackie chan, so, all's well and that ends well.



p.s. requesting guest posts from anyone and everyone who's interested !
including you, bongie/pongie

Independence never meant much : part 2

Chennai trip : the to be continued version



A. Sunday morning

there's something about brothers bonding thats just unexplainable. cant be written down. converted to shallow words.

and then again.

there's gloria gaynor.

I WILL SURVIVE.


best.song.for.singing.along.ever.


had breakfast. eggs and toast. brother dear has overtaken me on the art of cooking eggs. cheh.

aforementioned stud bhai, then bluetoothed sexy songs to aforementioned stud phone.


B. train trip to mangu


slept.

listened to songs.

slept.

helped an uncle wearing a red shirt with pinapples drawn on it(retro much?) carry his guitar off the train.

C. back to planet bad food

uncle then asked me where I was going.
then after a short conversation, offered me a lift to aforementioned college.

I expected a bike. or a cycle.

but then, it turned out, he had a huge big rich ass car with a huge rich big ass driver waiting.

*danger signs shooting around in brain*

when a rich uncle with a very avant garde dressing sense, offers you a lift in a car.

be scared.
very scared.

I was on guard for the whole journey.

but then.

I admit gladly.
I was wrong to.


no uncle touching. no inappropriate jokes from any uncle that day.

his name was kurien.
rich banker something who came to oversee some bank thing that only bank people have interest in.

he then proceeded to be extremely friendly in a non gay way.

told me things about things that I had no idea about.
about places to eat and drink in manipal I had never heard of.

and also.
this little gem : oh. youre from KMC? yeah. I guessed so. Ive seen a lot of MIT guys, and almost 2 out of 3 have pubic hair on their heads. I just dont get that.

D. afterthought


as I think about it now.
it would have been much more fun, talking to Kurien if I hadnt thought that there was something fishy.

he was like the chennai guys, people wtih good hearts.
and its now that I realise the problem I have with KMCites.
we just dont trust each other.
its been so long. Ive trusted rarely. and almost never been trusted back.

yes. non funny post my friends.

this indepence day, I didnt get up early.
I didnt do anything that made me feel any national spirit.

I stayed in.
and I thought.

I declare my freedom.

to trust.
and to trust without thinking about what may happen if anything goes wrong.
trust others with my hopes. my ideas. my secrets. my money. my pens. my life.

life is too short?
says who?
I think its too long.

but you know.

err.


ummm.



I forgot the point I was making.

jo bhi.


P.S. TS. much apologies for the much wait. it shall be on next? inafewdays. woo!

Saturday was the highlight of the month : part1

Chennai trip: what the heck happened version.


A. the bus trip to mangalore

nausea.
no male to male fondling. yay!

B. mangalore to chennai - west coast express

uneventful.
until........

3 of us sitting side by side, doing nothing in particular.
an uncle comes and sits in front of the middle person.
uncle has his 'lungi' folded up to form a mini skirt that would make katrina blush.


remember the scene from basic instinct?
the sharon stone uncrossing and crossing her legs, one?

of course you do.

decency fail.
youtube win.

exactly.
in front of three horrified males.






underwear:the greatest invention by man since mary sugar.

uncle:definitely not wearing one

C. the convocation

bhai graduated!
learned to play jeopardy.

sigh. thats one thing that I miss in college. nobody plays cards here. ever.

D. after convocation party

THE GREATEST PARTY ON EARTH EVER only.

the one thing I learn, every single time I go to IIT chennai.

most manipalites are selfish. dont trust each other. and dont have much conversation.
mostly.

in contrast.
the people there.

it wouldnt be an understatement to say that they were awesome.

also. I finally got that feeling





that feeling, that I havent experienced since a long time.



s








se


















se*











see,you have a perverted mind.

it was.


being social.

I made more friends that night, than Ive made here since 1st year.
no joke that.

jussu, dedh, aniket(mam**), bulla, hoola, moli, hancock(moli's stud cous), dilli, s9, bhondu, hulk and all the others who's names I cant remember, but were still so cool.
salut.

is there just a lack of good people around?
or is it something else?

request to all good manipalites reading this: please mix around a bit more.specially with me :)
see - Im even putting in a smiley.


^^
attempt at coolness and ungayness fail.

jo bhi.

the point being.
I had a great time. made loads of friends.

and and and.

drinking status has now been changed from
never ever ever
to
never ever unless under special circumstances.

special matlab, special
*winks

*looks pointedly at bongie and pongie and songie
*winks again

E. Saturday morning

only the greatest morning ever.
details are unprintable because of the scandalous content
*winks twice


F. saturday night

went to buy a new charger with jussu.

found out that motorola has stopped producing in India.

jussu then tells me to buy a new phone, and offers half of the price
(oh, the well hearted. how I much respect.)

brother then spent his first salary on moi.




so from now on.


I like to touch it a lot these days.

I touch it in class.

I touch it in clinics.

I even touched it once behind the professor's back.

I touched it when everyone was looking at me.

I even touched it when everyone was staring at my............















my new touchscreen.





*goes off to touch it some more.

tripartite.

thats an 'e' at the end. not 's'.
pervs.

part1 : sexual approaches

so. yes.

mangalore bus trip.

what do manipalites do for fun, you ask?
they go to the closest mall available.

which is a 2 hr bus drive away.

deluded fail.
nausea win.

case1: sitting at the last bench of the bus. out of six seats, 5 are taken. there's a space between me and a hot MIT chick.
rest of the bus=empty
a very kuntry uncle suddenly comes up and sits between us.
oh well, naive naive me thinks he just came to see the MIT chick and maybe grope.

aaah. india.

well. if only it was that simple.
uncle then decides its a good idea to start rubbing his thighs against mine.

mangalore bus trip: the EFFING FREAKING OUT version

case2: uncle finally gets up. deluded breath of security.

random MIT guy with pubes for hair comes up and sits in the space instead.
oh well. he cant be worse.

deluded: hoping in vain that something good might happen for 21 yrs.

said MIT guy the proceeds to sleep. on the shoulder of........wait for it........NOT the hot MIT chick.
stupid brainless git.
2 hours of shoulder pain.

oh well, the good thing was, it happened to be a conversation starter with the mit chick.
I said: I have attractive shoulders, it seems. everybody's heads just seem to.......
she: smiles

classic

deluded: not classy since 1988

so, events like these, coupled with the fact that whenever I eat out, I find some
random person staring at me always. have made me recount my luck.

to read my first such encounter, go here

damn you FSM.



yup. poor homme.

deluded: hit on by the wrong kind of people in the wrong kind of way.

life: not going good ever since section 377 was taken out.

part2: harish patel

thats what the indian harry potter is called.

what did I do in mangu, you ask?
movie of course.

right choice because:
hot girl sitting next to me, making orgasmic sounds at every scene
emma watson has grown, in the right places

wrong choice because:
it seemed like a chick flick. with 90% of the audience being girls(right choice because : good view)
mangalore bus trip.
had to hide face from a lot of batchmates, to avoid questions on manliness.

also, I noticed that harry potter has boobies.

during the last scene of the movie, while I was watching emma watson's chest face, I saw that the guy had a bigger chest face.
diagnosis: gynaecomastia

actual reason: wind


part3: hot girls

firstly, its a sad sad day for bloggerworld.

a hot bloggergirl is leaving us, it seems.

so, please.
go here and leave a comment asking her to come back.

much love.


secondly, a good friend of mine from college(hot girl, of course) tells me that there are 2 other hot girls who wouldnt mind going out for dinner with me.

although she tells me that they were actually high and said that sarcastically.
and afterwards downed a whole litre of booze at a go.
and then killed a snake.
and then read a forensic medicine book.
ate an elephant.
and kissed manmohan singh.


wild thing.
you make my heart sing.

sigh.

deluded: not getting hit upon since 1850


part4: bonus

going to chennai on thursday!
for a measly day and a half.


brother getting his degree.

official reason: me going to represent the family at the convocation

actual reason: me going to see the drinking party afterwards.

what'll I do there, you ask.

eat peanuts.



also.

the people who came to this blog by searching 'hot indian girl washing clothes' through google.

I hope you had a good lesson.





pervs.

let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams

A wise man once said

it doesnt rain in manipal
it pours.

actually, that would be a good thing.


but it doesnt JUST rain.

it comes with heavy horizontal rain, free of cost.




which turns something like this in the imagination



into this(as demonstrated by my good chinky dost)




and then, the umbrella goes from something like this




to this(as demonstrated by babu lal and his wife)



also, the rain drops dont just go pitter patter against your umbrella
each drop drops with a bang.

which makes you imagine something like this




as this




and thus while travelling from your hostel to the hospital(something like 5 mins by foot)

you end up

wet, cold , very wet, very cold and late for class.

also, you might end up outside of class as well.


but, there is one remedy to this.


and that is







and then, if youre lucky, you might get to see



(picture inserted due to popular demand)



I could totally do that.

if only there wasnt a class to go to.

feh.

and someone once sang


Once the cloud that's raining
Over your head disappears
The noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years


sigh.

however, what I say is,

it doesnt pour in manipal.
it rains.

sometimes beautifully.

She's got you high, and you dont even know it

aah. yes.

where was I?
you dont wanna know.


Hmm.

hot baths are nice.

how many times have you thought that?
7-8 times a month?

hot baths are a power of good.

how many times have you thought THAT?

I just had a nice hot bath. while listening to aerosmith at full volume and surrounded by the scent of strawberry and mint.

it was beautiful. it felt like........



where am I, you ask?
the one taking the picture probably( story of my life, sigh.)
alright alright.

just kidding. dont get any lawsuits on me. got that off the internet!

on that thought, please dont google image search 'hot bath' ever. unless youre a pervert.

back on track,
I shall now dub this theme of hot water bathing - last of the mohicans living of the dead deluded moonsault skywing style.

its a short meaningful name.
and its different from the normal hot steamy bath*.



*hot steamy bath

defined as a bath so hot, that if you stand up you shouldnt be able to see your toes, due to too much steam around**

**unless youre so fat you couldnt even before, you fat bastard.

as defined by the official luikal's classification of hot water baths***

***luikal's classification of hot water baths

grade 1 - mildly hot - temperature>30<38
grade 2 - blood hot - temperature of the blood(as taken from a normal human without fever)(extended to 40)
grade 3 - medial hot - temperature: 40-50
grade 4 - highly hot - 50-64.73
grade 5 - severely hot - >64.73
special grade - steamy hot

as given by the international society of hot water baths****

****international society of hot water baths

a society of like minded wise, elite people who fight for the good of the world, with the holy power of hot water baths.
this society is headed by his highness dhongi baba and consists of few elite fighters who have unimaginable hot water powers.
the society continues the ancient trend of bathing water enriched with the earth's natural form and energy handed down by god during genesis.
and it fights the dark menacing cold shower society.

more on the society later.

Im too tired from fighting a member from the cold shower society.

sigh.
maybe I should take a steamy hot bath.

diagnosis : PMS

"Infectious diseases will last as long as humanity itself"


The Pseudo Maal Syndrome(attituditis)

"of the two PMSs, the worse one to have-Dick Cranius"


PMS may be defined as infection of the brain of a healthy young female with unhealthy thoughts and hallucinations about her own importance.
such afflicted persons have been termed at various times as the wannabe maals, the kim sharmas, she-who-must-not-be-named and many other synonyms, listing of which would be too exhaustive for this book.

Problem statement

WORLD

being an highly infectious disease, PMS is endemic in mot developing countries, with frequent outbursts of minor and major outbreaks.
the exact incidence amounts to, according to WHO about 10-27 women per 100 are affected annually.
also, like chickenpox almost all girls have been afflicted by it at least once before they reach 20.
again, also like chickenpox, the clinical features are more prominent and exaggerated in case of adult life.

INDIA

for practical purposes, India can be divided into areas of low, intermediate and high endimicity.
the exact incidence of PMS in india is not known. however, the Indian literature is replete with numerous reports of sporadic and epidemic occurrence of this disease in various cities, residential colonies and campuses.

Epidemiological determinants

Agent factors

(a)AGENT: the causative agent, named the attivirus from the attiviridae family of viruses.
(b)RESISTANCE: the virus is fairly resistant to heat and chemicals. even pepsi.
(c)RESERVOIR: the human cases are the only reservoir of infection.

Host factors

(a)AGE: attivirus infection is more common in young adults and adolescents.
(b)SEX: affects only females. although some male cases have also been reported.
(C)IMMUNITY: no effective immunological response has been observed.

Enviromental factors

cases may occur throughout the year. and can occur in any area.

Modes of transmission

(a)by contact with infected host/
(b)sometimes, even just by looking.

Clinical features

the clinical spectrum of PMS may vary from a mild illness to a severe form.


however the salient features of attivirus-infection may be summarized as:
1. sudden change in attire, leaning towards the skimpier version
2. sudden liking of expensive, tasteless as well as unaffordable goods.
3. staring down of any person that is looking at the patient, or even persons who are not.
4. sudden liking of shows like roadies, splitsvilla and other reality shows.
5. sudden hanging out with persons suffering from severe bitchitis.
6. a profile on a social networking site, suddenly sprouting pictures in random poses,and also of random stuff, like feet, cats and whatnots.

other related symptoms and signs may also be present.


Complications

in most cases it is a self-limiting disease.
however in immunocompromised and depressed patients it may have a fulminant course.

Diagnosis

is based on clinical findings.

Control

its OUTOFFRIGGINCONTROL dude.

Prevention

run. fast. as fast as your feet can take you.



for the medical people reading this, yes, it IS in fact made in the format of K.Park, nightmare of all.

hmm. long one. I know.
also, an announcement.

HIATUS SEMILUNARIS
starting today, this blog will be on a hiatus for a month.
its not writer's block. its something else.
other blogs shall not be read.and comments shall not be replied to.
for a month, that is.

will be back, on or before 15th july.

we shared a moment that will last till the end.

things that pisses off the cow outside my hostel, while he's facebooking/orkutting/blogging

where did I see a cow, you ask?
are you sure youre in india, I ask.

but why does it have a facebook profile, orkut profile AND a blog, you ask?
this is manipal, yo!
he is an urban indian cow, dumbass.
he's classy and not rural.

he's christian.
and his name is bob.

he's bob the male cow.

how do I know that he's a guy-cow?
because he's in love with ganga the hyderabadi cow.

why is he a cow and yet a male?
genetic engineering.

err. yes.

so I had this conversation with bob over coffee at CCD(the one in front of the engineering college, central library doesnt allow cows inside, feh, racists.)
he likes frappe the most, if you want to know.





OOOPS.

wrong picture.








aah. yes. back to the topic.

bob tells me that he gets really pissed off with some orkut and facebook profiles that he's been seeing lately.

1. uncool studs who act like studs and put ER in front of their names.

what is WRONG with these people, bob says.at first I thought it was some really cool degree of something.that you get that title after doing lots of hard work, like Dr. or Prof. or Count.

then I go and ask one of them.and he says thats because he got into an engineering college.which is not even IIT.

meh. stupid humans.

dude! you dont even know the proper use for hair gel! its not for head hair*!! and youre already balding! please take out the title.




2. you know the sites that let you put up your picture in some imaginary billboard.

and you put that picture on your album, not one but 20+ of them in different poses!!! wtf!

seriously. Ive been a brand promoter for nandini milk, and your move is just uncool and unprofessional.



3. people who like to tYpE lIkE tHiS. aNd tHiNk tHaT iTs rEaLly cOoL.

err. should I even say anything?
I appreciate you for your hard work with the shift button. but. thats it.



4. he does not hate alpa chino. he loves alpa chino.
alpa chino is god.booty sweat and bust-a-nut forever!



5.he hates people who will just read this post, and not comment.
lazy ass lazyasses!



err. thats it.

more from my bob the cow later.
over our bi-weekly coffee get-together.(not that there's anything wrong with that statement)

*its for the tail.
what were you thinking?

how high can you fly with broken wings?

the sun had set.
but it wasnt exactly night.

there were dark clouds around.
but it wasnt exactly raining.

exams were close.
but he didnt really feel like studying.

'how apt' he thought.

the world was still, as if waiting for something.
holding its breath. for the beginning of something.

'probably rain. the calm before the storm?'

he used to take lots of walks. long ago.
going out at night. during times, when the roads were least likely to be crowded.
for the exact thing that he hated, being alone.
his weekly ritual.
but that had stopped.
why?

'because, now Im always alone'


he used to have his own spot.
to sit. to think. to eat. to stare at the world.
but he didnt go there that day.

'too many sad emotions are linked to it'

he did what he used to do when he was a kid.
take the first right on every turn that he encountered.

he knew how to get back to his hostel again.
but he had no idea where he was.

'probably, I'll end up lost, or in a ditch'

he was at a high place.
probably.
the amount of wind, hinted at it.

he saw a light.
the familiar flame of a lighter.
and he went towards it.

'I need a smoke'

she was sitting on a rock.
bent over.
trying to protect the flame. unable to light that precious stick between her lips.

'feh. novice'

'here, allow me' he advanced.
she accepted his offer.

he lit it up.
gave it to her.

she tried to act cool, but ended up swallowing instead of breathing.
coughing vigorously.

'your first time?'
'ummm. yeah'

'dont'
'dont what?'
'smoke'

'why not? I can do bloody anything I want to' she got angry
'of course you can, its just not a good thing.its your choice of course'

'exactly, its always my choice. no matter what others say.'
'hmm yeah, you can do whatever you want. because its your responsibility' he said in a dreamy voice

something inside her snapped
she started speaking. and he never stopped her.
she didnt want to stop.
she didnt stop.

then, there was just silence.
she got a message, and she ran off.
'Im sorry. I have to go.'
'take care you'
'as should you'

it didnt rain that night.
but it poured the next day.

someone bumped into him that day. it was her.
but they didnt speak.
it wasnt unexpected though.
he had felt it the previous night.

'of course, thats how she is'


in class, he found a note in his labcoat.

'Im sorry, you know I cant. I wish i could though'

that evening, he saw her again.

'dont worry, I never expected it' he shouted
everyone heard it, but only she knew it was meant for her

she turned and smiled for a moment.


they smile, whenever they see each other.
from that day on.

sometimes, simple relationships, without expectations, are the best relationships.

eat, drink, and be hairy!

so the gears of rumour are turning again.

bongs are obsessed with 3 things - food, movies and CRICKET.
oh, wait. there's also paan.


and how did the kolkata night riders fare this IPL?

"theyre as alive and kicking as this bug underneath my lakhani chappal, says a dada in all his bong glory. and lo, it IS alive and kicking(and screaming perhaps)"

bugs are resilient creatures, and so are bongs, says one ancient legend from the great huge book of bongs*

what may be the reasons for them to fail so miserably this time?

"that fake IPL bass-turd", echoes one young of the 3 young bongies in kurta and jeans

"oori da, ekdom bhalo point bolle, eita to main point hocche(o brother, good point, thats the main point)
that fake IPL guy took us down the drains.
disunity create kore!
deshdrohi shaala!"
agrees bongy 2

and why are you wearing kurta and jeans?
"this happen be besht clothing of india. ekdom INDIgenous" sniggers bongy3
"aamra total intellectual"

then why does it look like you havent changed in the last....erm...3 weeks?
kichu o bole dada, aami mere debo
(he's talking crap bro, I'll hit him)
shaala, you wear clean shirt pant, you firangi, learn to be baangaali
I telling you, that what is causing dishharmoony in knight riders
those shaala bangluulu people send firangi model to our camp along with fake IPL player

and our knight riders become NIGHT riders? I suggest

"exjactly! here, have a paan for that statement, says babu in the paan stall
10 taaka baba, meetha bangla paan! khoob bhaalo khoob bhaalo"

so, what are you going to do this weekend?
"we watch movie in home. golu's mom making good popcorn and paan."

which movie?
"RituPORNO ghosh-er movie.
oi director is khoob classy khoob classy!"

and what else does dada have to say for the general public of this blog?

steps up a philosopher paunchy dada:

"aaare dada, I tell you, jindagi taa khooob bhaalo khoob bhaalo
eat khoob roshogulla
drink lots beer
and have healthy food like paan.
whatsay?"

"khoob bhalo khoob bhalo!"
screams the whole crowd.



*if youre still wondering
I'll publish it as soon as I find a publisher ;)



DISCLAIMER: all bongs are actually sexy, and nice, and sexy, and smart, and sexy, and un-hairy, and sexy and bathe everyday!

if my life has a theme song, I want it to be the theme song of mortal kombat!

I didnt go on a walk today.
I didnt go see the sunset.
its been ages since Ive done that anyway.

I had a practical exam today.
I didnt go to the library to cram it all up.
I slept through most of the morning today.
does it matter to anyone anyway?

I had a viva voce today.
I didnt answer any of the questions today.
I havent ever since, anyway.

when I was walking down the street today,
no hot girl came up to tell me how awesome I was.
that never happened after that anyway.

I shaved today.
and I looked proper.
but my shoelaces were untied.
and I didnt care to tie them up again anyway.

I didnt use up my balance today.
I didnt want to call.
its been a long time since my phone bill was that huge.
and it doesnt matter anymore anyway.

It was raining today.
but I didnt use an umbrella.
I wanted to feel it again.
the things that have stopped inside
still go on normally outside.

I woke up today.
and the world didnt seem to stop.
even though I have, since such a long time.

the Undeluded child : the concept of 'personality investment'

some things in your life, are just.......

landmarks.

some of those things, ideas, persons or maybe even embarrassing behaviour, you kept getting reminded of, in every single thing you do.

others though,
you think it, you obsess over it for a week, a month
and then poof, it goes into your archives.
to just sit there. waiting.

and when a little action, a few words, maybe something you eat, triggers a chain reaction,
everything comes flooding into your mind.
fresh. like it just happened an hour ago.

something like that happened to me last night.

this was waaaay back when I was a kid.
I still wore shorts to school.
and hair was just beginning to grow at funny places.

something happened which had me really wishing I could run away from everything.

I dont remember what, but it was no way related to my favourite pillow being torn.
(good days! good days!)


aah. Like I was saying,I wanted to run away.
most kids just stop there.

but then, whats undeluded, if he doesnt take it one step further? nothing.

thats when I made a plan, one of the most memorable plans Ive ever made(oh, Ive made a few* if you want to know)

I had just recently shifted from mumbai to bhopal at that time.
so, if I was going to run anywhere, that was where it was going to be(the people there are awesome, and HOT GIRLS YAYAY!)(or delhi of course)

and how was I going to survive?

the idea came to me, in a flash
it was like the skies parted, and suddenly I saw bright light.



I was going to sell myself.


bah. you pervs.
not THAT way.

here, comes in the brilliance of undeluded.

the concept of it was:

people invest in companies. which they think can give them a profit.
so.......why cant people invest in ME, if they think I can get them some quick money.

people put money in banks, because they get an interest.
if I could give them a higher interest rate, and an assurance of trust, then......why not?

people make fixed deposits.
so if I can turn their money into a bit more than what the govt. of india does.......wouldnt they try it?

people trade in shares, and the rising stars are the most popular ones, the most profitable ones.
so. exactly. you couldnt find a better investment than undeluded.

thus, all I had to do
was turn on the undeluded charm on full thrust.
give them something concrete as a guarantee.
document it all to make the transaction completely legal.
and I have capital to make something big.

I call this, my 'personality investment concept'

please dont steal it without due credit and permission.

actually Im surprised, that a kid could come up with something brilliant, but then, thats what undeluded was. sparkly. brilliant.
yup.

and then, came the next step of the plan where I use that capital to.....


*hears snoring noise coming in from the screen.

alright alright I get it.

its a long post, and youre not interested.
no more.

feh.

white album

once upon a time.

a deluded person, had an inspiration.
less of an inspiration, and more of insight, he debated.

it was about stars, chocolates and sunlight.
about tennis, labcoats and milk cartons.

he had an idea, which he thought would change the world
a wonderful idea
a gentle idea
an idea which touched his heart to the core, and shook it.

at that moment
with that thought in his mind
everything, seemed okay
the world wasnt bad
he wasnt lonely
chocolate milkshake couldnt beat strawberry(it still cant)

he was always, a laidback guy
(he always lay-ed in the back and slept)
but this idea,
made him see everything, in a different light
the world was seen in shades of purple, and it seemed great

it was as if his eyes were always closed
and he was groping for the truth
and that idea, had been the truth that he groped for
he groped the air around him
he caught it
he shouted out 'yay'





and then he opened his eyes.






the whole class was staring at him.

he got his attendance cut off for sleeping(and dreaming, and making weird gestures while sleeping) in class


oh, well
life's like that.
at least he still had the idea

wait.

what was the idea again?
damn.
he forgot.

thats why one wise man once said, when you wake up, effing write it down!

of tetrapak and hot girls who are interested in me

the deluded view on various topics - chapter 21 section 75


tetrapak

yup.

youre walking, you havent had anything to eat since morning and then, suddenly, you see.

a goddess.

juice.

200 ml of fruity goodness.

with a straw.

and when youre almost done.
you suck.(thats what she said ;) )

you try to take in that last 30 ml of juice.
effing straw.
you tilt the pack, put the straw to its ideal position. squeeze. suck.
but, there's still some left.
effing straw.

you shake the pack, you feel it, the tempting juice.

you want it.

200 ml of fruity goodness that you'll never completely have.


but it will, never, give itself up.
(the juice probably thinks something like- you can have my body, but not my heart, huh?)

and you give up.
and your day shall be bad.

thats why I like appy.
at least they have the sense of putting a peel away on top. so you can have that last bit too.

more to the point, look what frooti has as a publicity poster.

pretttyy suggestive.(thats what he said)





NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.

is there?
*looks innocently





ahem.

now to the second part of the post.

I know what youre thinking.

what about the hot girls who are interested in me, you ask?

where are the hot girls who are interested in me, you ask?

exactly.

if you find them, please redirect here.

thanks.

when it all comes tumbling down

take a step forward
and dont ever look back.

was what you had decided, wasnt it?

its just a gash.
this scar will heal, you thought.
it isnt so bad, It can be lived with.

was what you reasoned to yourself, wasnt it?

everything, is in the end, temporary.
I'll change myself.
and then everything will be fine.

was what you planned, wasnt it?

that night, with a heavy heart
and eyes so wet
you slept

so you could dream of a better ending, right?

people are logical.
people are just.
the world can be fair, you just need to trust

was what you hoped for, didnt you?




life, is supposed to be a straight line
so that you can go forwards, with each step

but, now youre in a circle
that you keep coming back to

and you wonder.
why.

is it even worth it?
Im righteous, but why is the world still so cruel?
it isnt fair, was it ever just?
I cannot forget, those feelings are too deep

is what you think now.

and I.
I cant give you any hope.

the questions you ask.
the thoughts you think.

I cant hope to ever answer them, no one can.

the pain you carry. shall always pierce.
but, the paths you took, are worth remembering
the parts you carved, are worth keeping
even if there is a price.

maybe one day, you'll find another shoulder
to help carry your burden
because you carry the greatest weight of all
but you cannot share it

youre made that way, right?
to carry, without flinching
the turmoil stays within
the empty smile you give
is mistaken for being shallow
but they look at your lips


and not your eyes, do they?


but, remember.

all things, that give, dont always have to recieve
the wind that touches your face
shall always be there
never leaving
always giving.

and the only true feelings that I can pass on to you
is one of belief.
the burden, you can carry,
and only you can carry it

you'll shed these tears again.
so that no one else has to.

you'll do it.

because,
youve never been pure.
but youve always been good.

and as I see you

walking on that thorny road.
with nothing for company but the wind.

you look at me
and smile
a smile you learned to smile, through your tears
a smile of companionship, of love, of laughter and of pain
a smile of the world

and I stare into those eyes
that best shade of brown

you pierce me
and I see you
like you should be seen
the greatest, you have always been

and I smile back

for I shall never forget.
these unchanged feelings you shared.
these unsaid words I felt.

filler: the reason to be be be....scared

yes, my friends.

I have just escaped an international calamity.

my bus was about to be blown up, but deluded, becomes the hero and saves the day!


let me explain.

yours truly, was riding the bus. going back to his room after a long journey.
just being normal.
sleeping in the bus.
and then HE came in.

the local don.
how I do I know that he's a don?

simple.

fully clothed in white? check
4 wives and 10 children in tow? check
white turban? check
golden chain around neck? check
golden glasses? WTF! check!
golden rolex? check!
big huge pack in his hands which he guards with his life? check!

uptil now, he could just be an innocent foreigner from saudi arabia(you oil-runs-in-your-veins you!)
but then, on closer inspection. the rolex is a fake.

so?
so.

if you can afford a family of 20, god everything, but not a real rolex watch, youre a localite.
hence he can only be a local kannada don. or a suicide bomber.

at this point, I dared to take a picture.





someone call the bomb squad!!!

hence he turns and punches. and then since he has been exposed, goes out, disgusted.

deluded takes 95 points of damage and saves the day!
one hit, taken for the public! yay me!

just, someone do something about this swelling on my face.



in other news.

I went on a guy's shopping spree.
whats that mean?
food. food. drinks. and a four letter word that all guys buy but dont tell any girls about.
what did you think a guy's shopping is like?
clothes? get a life.
it took a total of 5 mins that.

also

I have a cold.
which led me to ponder.

what a girl thinks if she catches a cold: damn. I have a cold! now my nose will be all red and runny! and my makeup! oh god! what will happen when he sees me! ho god! just kill me now! f*cking cold!

what a guy thinks if he catches a cold: damn. I have a cold! now I wont be able to smell what I eat! or a hot girl's perfume! dayum. oh. wait. if I fart I dont smell it. if I dont take a bath, doesnt matter! this fucking rocks dude!

okay. okay. its what we THINK. not DO.
who would be crazy enough to DO that?

not me.
I wouldnt DO that.
nor any guy!
but its always good to have an option!
even if you dont DO it.

anyway. since you always complain I never say anything about myself in post.
the next 3 posts will be an insight into the deluded mind. IF you want it to be, that is.

P.S. see the emphasis on the word - DO?

hot girls of blogger,


please do me.

Uncensored

something I'd written a while ago...




have you ever wondered.......what love is like?

its like the smell of the earth after the first rain.
fresh. refreshing. something that you have never felt before.
something that comes only once. something you'll never experience
again. something you can recall whenever you want.

its like the fresh breeze that you feel against your face in the night.
it takes away your sleep. it runs its hands through your hair. it
messes up what youre wearing. but you never want it to stop.

its like the feel of your blanket on a cold morning.
its warm. its soft. you need it, and you feel that it needs you as
well. you never want to get out of it.

its like that last few licks from a jar of nutella.
its sweet. its like heaven. you know you will never get bored of it.
and you wish you had more. much more.

its like that milkshake you love so much.
when you're the milk then it's the flavour, it makes anything much
more wonderful.
when you're the flavour then its the milk, it gives you sustance, and
you feel youre a part of something so much bigger.

I couldnt give enough words to this feeling that I get around you.
when I try, I understand what drowning in a sea of words means. its
everywhere around you, but you can hardly get any words out of your
mouth


hey there delilah
have you ever felt.....................scared?

that its too risky to take that step?

that it might not last?

that this might just be like everything else that you've gone through?

that this might not be worth that much?

that I'll go away?


dont be scared delilah.

it might be risky, but Im a good investment.

it will last. we'll make it last.

things have changed after these few days. I have changed. you have
changed. the world is different, when we're together.

its worth it. lets take this step together.

I'll never go away. I'll always be right here, waiting for you. no
matter what. I promise.



so delilah,

take your time.

and I'll wait.
because you made me a plus-minus person from the zero base person I was.
because you gave me light in this world of dark.
because its worth it.

and mostly because

I love you.

this isnt a blogging site, its a social networking site, you idiot!

nothing big today.

just some thoughts and some questions.


was talking to friend A, from blogspot

who then told me about how blogger B and blogger C had a fight, and how blogger D got it together for them.

then talked to friend X, who gossipped about blogger Z and blogger W making out.

and blogger H trying to kill himself.


and there was just one thing going through my mind.

WTF!

did I miss something there?

some dandy revolution of sort?

not since 8th class, where I overlooked the green revolution by mistake(Im sorry Dogra maam!) have I ever missed a single revolution. I even followed the chaddi revolution!



I only know 5 ppl from blogger, who I talk to and who know my name

and here I find out that every person who's blog page Ive ever read, know each other.

and mayhaps, half of them might have slept with each other.





Introducing, the latest and hippest social site since facebook and orkut

*the biggest thing since water polo - New dork times(a most famous newsletter)

*this sensational hit will change the world around us - Gossip girl monthly pro(leading magazine of its kind)

*since the first time I opened my page, I was hooked - gill bates(richest man on birth)

*can I put it on my site first? yes, I can. - Garrack Sobama(president of united states of bum-erica)


blogger dot com. just DO IT!





aah. yes.

now to the questions part.

how come everyone of you know each other?

and why why why am I not in this 'hip' contact list of yours?

am I that that not worth knowing?

and do you have glasses on you net freak junkie you?

alright. just kidding.
the last statement was purely a joke
*winks

hot girls of blogger, please touch me

whisky, vodka and (hic) milk!

drunk people have their own reasons.
random thoughts heard from random people.



Im not drinking
that golden colour, cant you see! its honey, honey! honey and water.

when you look at it, its only 30 percent alcohol
so, those werent 3 shots......that was just one shot, and the rest was water

Im not high yo!
I just have this tendency to randomly hug other girls wearing red.

vodka isnt a drink, its water.
to wipe your ass with.

Im being responsible.
Im drinking it all so that there wont be any left for you guys, then you can go lead full 'fruity' lives. Im sacrificing for you guys man!

why do I drink?
do you ask a rose why it has thorns?(girlA answers)
do you ask a person why they fart? its personal man. per-son-al (guyA)
do you ask kids why they eat ice cream?(guyB)
do you ask mariah carey why she has big b**bs? (guyC)
do you ask doubts in class????(girlB)

when you piss, its the same colour right?
Im just replenishing what Ive lost

no no man. this is how we were born. and this is how I shall live. never forget your heritage man, never (guy while taking off his shirt)

this is how the matrix guy dodged bullets man. BULLETS!(stagerring drunk)


and my personal favourite.

you idiots!
its not on backwards!
my pants are the latest thing for people suffering from diarrhoea
you know, you just open the zipper and then drop the bombs.
see! thats so logical. so less troublesome.

The Encounter Specialist

another train journey.
another story to tell.

Navy jerk Vs Dark Wader


almost missed the train.
this is going to be one sucky train ride.
lower birth in a kuntry-looking sleeper class bogey.
no laptop. no charge in phone. nothhing to read. not even an upper birth to sleep the whole thing in.
nothing but a deo in my bag(comes handy when you pass a gutter-river thingie on train, which ARE so common nowadays) to console me

It might not be so bad.
I can look at blackwaters of kerala and shit. oh, I meant backwaters, backwaters.
thought I, as I dozed off to oblivion.

shut the hell up, was my first thought as I was woken up by this huge baritone.
my god, do they still make people who talk this loud? wasnt that back in the 80's?

I got a glimpse of him.
shouting off for half an hour to his dad on the phone.
every 3rd word being interspersed with 'rear-admiral'(haha, REAR admiral)
and this huge effing card with indian navy personnel written on it.
trying every bit to raise his voice and flash that card. and act cool.

Interesting.
I recognised the signs.
he must be barely out of school.
attention seeking to the extreme.

the fish you dont seek, shall always be the one thats in the area around your boat.
but, its fish, nonetheless.
english speaking fish too.

hi there. he started it, as I expected.
hello.
Im Amit ******, blah blah blah(life history).
Im Deluded, no details yet.
nice to meet you.
aaah. so.......youre in the navy huh?(bait)
yeah. I just got recruited in it. 18 and now life's set huh?(in a conspiratory tone)
hmm. yeah.

he talks to me as if Im an equal, not recognising that I could well be much more than that.
thought a much ignored part of me, waking up. someone, who I like to call, dark wader(sooooo subtle, feh.)

hmmmm. it doesnt help that I DO look younger. bah.

as expected, he started to boast.

his, wasnt a college, it was an "academy" , a "commandant"

with that, it started on the usual course of conversation between 2 college guys.

Ragging.

oh, you guys know nothing. yours is just so simple and uncomplicated. OUR seniors beat the crap out of us
(proud your voice be. yes, our seniors are so disrespectful. they prefer not to hit. oh DAMN!)
they started us off by slapping us each hard a hundred times.
they even used hockey sticks.
they broke my leg, but I couldnt complain or go to a medic. that would be a bad thing to do.(he said that happily)
haha. I was lucky though.
at least my back's still in one piece, my poor poor roommate, he cant even walk straight now.

aaah. I see.

Boasting about the selection process.

oh, you guys can get into any college easily(he assumed, of course that I was one low low standard guy). but its hard to get into the academy.
we have to get 70 percent in boards to qualify for it.
70 percent! unbelievable na?
its even harder than my brother, who's taking his 3rd drop for medical entrances.

umm. yeah. pretty unbelievable.


Girls.

ah, it must be pretty hard on you, since there are no girls in the 'academy' huh? I ventured
oh. you guys make me sick. who needs girls? I can get any chick I want off the face of this planet(boast some more, you)
but, We're happy.
we get every physical stuff anyway, he winked

talk about extreme. I had HEARD about the rumours of homosexuality, but this.

he talked for hours.

and I realised.

he was like clay. easily molded. with utmost faith in whoever was molding him.
he'll be a good soldier, I admitted.

but, dark wader reigns.
I dreamt again. of dreams about power over others. ambitions.

I could see that shine in his eyes. If i was in that commandant, controlling him would be so easy.

people are easily influenced.
DW would make a good leader.

it was time to get off now.

wait, which course are you in?
3rd yr. MBBS.

dilatation of the pupils observed.
smirking of the face done.

and then, slept again, a part of me.

while the whiter side took an auto back to college.
thinking about how good it would feel, saving lives and helping people.

tomorrow

what......
what is this.

what is this feeling.

where am I?

oh, its still night
the sun hasnt come out yet.

but, where am I?

I feel grass.
and pebbles.
pricking my back and my neck and my head.

I can see shattered glass, next to me.

I can see open sky above me.
but why are there no stars?
why is there no moon?

its just dark. a black sea. upside down.
is that really the sky?

my head is throbbing.
its painful. like nothing else that Ive ever felt.
haemorrage?

my chest is wet. its drenched.
thick liquid.
am I leaking blood?

I cant feel my left arm. or my legs.

shit.
I cant move.
I cant get up.

what happened to me?

I can hardly breathe.
my chest heaves with each breath.
its painful.
its troublesome.

cant I just stop breathing?
Mmm.
that would be nice.
and it doesnt seem far off, I suppose. its only a matter of time now.

is this how death is like?

there's no dignity in it.
lying in the dirt like this.
death isnt the release of pain, its much more painful than any pain in life!
its sickening.
this waiting. before I finally end. this stupid waiting.

wait.

I dont want to die.
not yet.

am I fated to die like this?
with everything incomplete?
still a virgin?
still in college?

I want to live.
a bit more.

feh.
Im about to die.
and youre still on my mind.
even now.
get out.

wont you let me die peacefully?

noooooo!

maybe there's still hope.

maybe I can still survive.

if I shout.
If I scream.

someone.

save me.

someonee

Im about to die!


I can hear someone. coming.
its my roommate.

thank goodness.

"dude. youre totally wasted. you drank like shit dude. whatever. hangover or no hangover. get the f*ck up!"

phew.

all is well, it seems.

guest post : cheesy woman

do I need to say it?

this is a sentimental post from someone to their someone special

ANYONE WHO READS THIS AND DOES NOT COMMENT IS NOT STRAIGHT. SIMPLE.

or is darth vader.

back to the post.......


I didn't want to fall in love. Not after so many failed attempts.
I didn't want to open up to you. Not after having my heart broken so many times.
You know I'm scared to love, to feel, to let go of the plastic bubble that I've been living in.

Okay is this becoming one of those cheesy posts I swore I'd never write? I think it is. But what the hell. I'm learning to like cheesy, it makes me smile. I'm learning to love sweet nicknames, they make me giggle. I'm learning how to give kisses on the phone while dreaming about our first kiss. I'm learning that saying 'I love you' is not lame or needy. Romantic songs make me cry now, it's that bad!

You've opened me up to a range of emotions whose very existence I vehemently denied. And for that, I thank you.

I know you may not wait. I know we may not be. But for this, for making me whole... I love you.







ahem.

yes. that was really beautiful.

CW I hope you both work out.

if love is anything, then you must be swimming in it for him. he is truly a lucky guy.

best of luck. for your future together.

when you look at a cow, dont stare at its behind! thats RUDE!!

ahem.

first things first.

happy birthday to me. (now please wish me. Im already lacking in Bday wishes)(stupid too drunk to remember friends)

ahem ahem.

oh, yes.

and there's a party.

I always wanted this special day to come.

my own sweet sixteen party.
chocolates, cakes and grand food.
all my friends at one place.
and youre invited.
my mom always says that sixteen is a great age to be at. now I get to find out! yay!

woohoo

sweet sixteen!!!


oh.

wait.

Im 21.

nevermind.

cancel that invitation.

now that I know that I cant have a sweet sixteen party.....

I think I'll go cry in the corner.


hehe.

alright. back to the much more pressing issue.

new previously unknown hot girl discovered.

Marie Digby.




the girl who made me realise that all mexicans dont wear hats, are not short and unsexy and smelly, and fart really pretty looking pink farts


oh.

she's not mexican?

oh. oh.

nevermind.

she's hot and she sings well, so F**k you!



oh oh.

whats a Bday post without a dedication huh?

I would like to decimate this post to all the great people in my life(alessandra ambrosio, deepika padukone, katrina kaif, michelle branch and delilah(hey there delilah!))

and to sprite.

and milkshakes.



yosh.
that was so lame.

its time to get drink like Ive never drunk before.
milkshakes.

and then sleep.

Love and shite, shite is greek word for love, I suggest you to not read this

hehe.

guest post, by one of the MOST wonderful girls that I know,

who I call - My sweet honey (teehee, forgive me oh great one, I HAD to say that :P)


Once upon a time there was a guy in Sandland called, er, Owl. He had eyes as black as black grapes and a very sexy way of making you laugh. He was charming, in all the wrong proportions, but still charming. We were better off as friends and things were picture-perfect-partners-in-crime-ish until he decided to ask me out and ruin it. No, really. What we had was good but it was sooo complicated. Also, there were other reasons.

1) He lives some 100000 km away for most of the year save the summer.
2) I did NOT want to be his "summer fling".
3) He was a friend's ex.
4) ^That was no big problem as my friend and I were never I and my friend, if you know what I mean.
5) I still thought relationships were fucking overrated.

So I call it off, er, not very gracefully (& mourn about it into pillows and bathroom walls for what seems like an eternity). It really annoyed me that he wasn't half as pissed off as he should have been. When he went back he wrote to me saying we should stay in touch n stuff and I chose to ignore his mail. Nice move huh? :| (Totally, what bs i say :| ) He never mailed again and I convinced myself that blech, he was not my perfect guy anyway.

Side note: Ok, my perfect guy?
Should be a forum-trolling, nicotine-fixated, balding, dour,
indifferent, guileless hack-writer who has read Vonnegut and Camus,
can spell T-R-U-F-F-A-U-T and know that 400 Blows.avi isn't an
instructional video, possesses 7 GB+ porn on his hard drive, listens
only to sociopol rock and trims his armpit hair on birthdays 4 meeee. <3

=]]

Ahem, anyway, back to the Great Indian Sob Story. It was all okay-ish until I learnt that he is coming back this summer. Don't tell me I shouldn't "give a fuck about it since I ended it" like the others. Urgh. I know the amount of human emotion I’m capable of will shock you, but I have huge guilt-trips. I'm like the other guilt queen. And it's going to be awkward and awkward doesn't go down very well with me, just like, raw vegetables or sushi. Graaaaaaah.

End rant.




Soulful apologies for utter torturement.


Sigh.

Love,

ze sweet honey (:P teehee!)

guesto posto

alright. today, is a very special day.
thats because I have a famous well known writer posting on my blog today(suck on that! popularity meter o' mine)
in fact, she's soo good that, she's next in line for the booker award.

dont know what that is? google it. (sigh. the age group of my readers.)

you can find her blog link, here

of course, I asked her to post, waaay before she wrote her 1st book, hence, the title.




Reasons for the Guest Post taking a decade

-a gust of wind blew my first 7 drafts away. Umm, strong wind?

-I suffered from some serious memory loss, but its getting better now.

-it was something to look forward to for the first 9 years, so I kind of kept it hanging

-inspiration ran away  fast

-exams crept up on me

-holidays begged me to sleep more

-life happened… not that this is Not life.. because it So is. Really.

Yes, okay now. I’m nearly dead with exhaustion having pieced together this masterpiece. It shall be appreciated if you write me that cheque and send over those 40 slaves you promised. And fast please, I need about four or five to carry the ink pot and other writing appliances.

*taps foot*

Okay, I am officially waiting so any more delay Will be frowned upon.

Ps- Inspiration is still out on the loose somewhere… (This is my excuse and I’m sticking to it)





okay.

that was great!

see! finally a post without pics of hot girls.(do I seem more learned now?)

oh yes.

I almost forgot giving links. huh. silly me.

to go to this famous writer's page go here

to go to a hot girl's blog go here

to go see the recipe of strawberry tequila vodka cheesecake go here

to see my attempt at a lame guest post on an extremely cool blog, go here

and finally,

for pictures of hot girls in skimpy swimsuits, go here


haha. I got you there. you perv.