in the beginning of mankind, there was a king, and he could partay like the mountains snowed

Good morning you sleepy cows


ABCD's coming!

now if you're not a manipalite, you're probably scratching your head right now

you manipalites are smiling.


and all of you guys, who have come here to look at something perverted, which, according to the search queries on my blog, are a LOT!

well. umm. hi
*waves

deluded: doing socially inappropriate things since the dawn of mankind.

also, who came to my blog by searching world's prettiest person?!
lol

well, since you are all hungover, lets give you something to wake up

have some lime juice.


i bet you didnt realise that the picture was blurry huh?
it happens.

okay. so. back to ABCD.

i finally found out it stands for : annual ball cum dinner
and not what i had previously thought : All the Babes in Class Drunk dancing

although, that is a big part of what is going to happen....

welcome to ABCD after party, the drunkeiest junkiest hottest and the most fun party you will experience in mbbs.
unless, youre one of those nerdy guys who stand in the corner of the room and stare at girls you like
or, youre one of those nerdy girls who come fully clothed in a salwar that drapes around your neck and is a faded pukey yellow in color......WHY?!!!
or those of you who are going for abcd, and not coming for the after party.

so, here's some pointers to all of you guys wondering about how you should go about it.

the full abcd package consists of :

part 1 : ABCD proper

description:

everybody has to sit, the guys in suits and the girls in sarees, in that boring college function which falls into my category of parties as 'uncle aunty function' and watch someone sing with a veena, or if worse, see the dean jiggle his thang to kajra re. i just hope our kind and respected staff, with a slightly high BMI do not think of doing thing something on a similiar line


blegh.

disturbing image.
just imagine older people.



and then we'll have some food to eat
going by the falling level of our college day food, i would ask some of you to......use caution


pluses:
see crush in saree
other hot girls in saree, laughing around and talking about lame stuff.
food might be good.

minuses:
uncle aunty function
lots and lots of that.
getting hot inside a big huge suit which you'll have to pwn from some place.
food might be bad

suggested plan of action:
get high.
antiemetic in case of food failure.

part 2 : after party

description:

biggest party of the year. hot girls strutting their stuff. most people drunk. some in the corner sitting and drinking juice and getting awkard. some outside, puking, coming back in for more booze. and at random dark corners of the night some lucky guys making out with hot girls.
this, till next day, when you can have a hungover breakfast and go back.

pluses:
get to drink with your crush and have interesting conversations.
lots of other hot girls just in case.
drunk.
hopefully.

minuses:
ummm....

suggested plan of action:
get high. as high as you ever have. and then, more.
dont persist on a girl who doesnt respond when you hit her up. or she might cry rape(knowledge taken from a wise senior)(and ive always said : drunk girls go both ways)(you dirty minded person)
get someone to make out with you.
if you dont, just get more high. it's worth it.


okay, so now the biggest part

GET A HOT DATE.

and i dont mean read the book!
get a proper living walking drinking making out sort of date.

so, all you guys out there, get your gears running and ask almost anyone you can

and if you're a hot girl reading this, and you're free, please gimme your number!


peace out.

Intro and contact

hi, and welcome to delusional rain

now, you all might be wondering(specially all you hot girls out there)

"wow! you're hot!"

no?

i didnt exactly get the reaction i expected. but, oh well.

carrying on

you're wondering what's with that blog title?
awesome.

you see, i was inspired, by a wonderful wonderful link on youtube.
you wanna see right?
here you go









oh. sorry. wrong one.
but that DID make me think : maybe i should change it to deluded chopsticks.
or jelly donuts.
any takers for that?

so. here's the real one :



agreed?
rain is. awesome.


also,
after i got the title part done, there's that little annoying space right below it.
subtitle/ description/ little header/ gumball/ chasm of death. call it what you want, but its an important part of the blog, right?

so, i got a few ideas.

delusional rain
gets you wet with excitement(as in, it rains excitement?)(you. dirty mind. stop grinning)

and then i wondered, would blogger throw me off because of that? probably.

delusional rain
saves you from the sunlight

then these two images got into my mind.

the only people who'd hide from the sun would be...... twilight thingies


and this guy.




wouldnt want any of that. definitely.

delusional rain
batman is awesome.

still wondering on that one....

delusional rain
got milk?

no? damn.


sigh.
oh well.

Im still.......looking for the answer.....






also, if you wanna send me some

1. questions(for delusional answers)
2. money
3. just wanna say hi
4. you're the one who stole my umbrella and want to return it
5. your mail ids or phone numbers

mail me at : alwaysritwick@gmail.com

or hit me up on facebook

http://www.facebook.com/ritwickchatterjee

peace.

the yellow back canary

tweet tweet a yellow back canary
did you know your beak was hairy
i bet that that was not intended
you should sue nature, get money and spend it
roses are not quite so nice
wouldnt you rather be smelling rice?
play a card game, with a dice
if its more fun that way, play twice
i get that you ...are tired and weary
but you say that its quite contrary
kittens can be rude and scary
but dont worry, cause your beak is hairy!

your mind is a double egded....... tomato!

I was in the library, and.....

blood.

my blood.

bloody red blood.

red, dark blood.

red, frank blood.

red, frank, copious amount of blood.

red, frank, copious amount of blood.

yeah, well, i kind of ran out of medical terms to describe blood.
now, if you had thought 'sputum', THATS another story.

every medical student has a different description of sputum.
we're bred to believe sputum can look like a strawberry milkshake(pink and frothy) or coffee(no biggie - coffee colored sputum) or that it can rust(rusty sputum) or even paan

colored because you know, you just had a paan, and you LIKE paan)

that reminds me.
this movie has such a funky name.
even if the poster is one of the lamest ones Ive seen.



that also reminds me,
inflation from the point of view of a paan waala i met, inflation is something similiar to flatulence.



also, overheard in a train
'har aadmi ke peeche ek mahila hoti hai, aur uske peeche, sonia gandhi'
hard thought to ponder about.


so, i went to the library the other day
where the latest(since like 2 years, Im not sure, I rarely GO) trend is of low rise jeans.

hot girls have been making pretty good use of it, flouting their thangs.



the guys, however, not so much.

its not a low rise, if you just wear your normal jeans lower than where its supposed to be.

seriously.
it looks like you have no ass.

unless, its a bit too revealing.



okay.
that was a disturbing image in your head, specially if youre a guy and youve been to the library.

here.
hot chick, to refresh your mind.




oh, yes, the blood, you were wondering, werent you?

connect all the bloody red letters in the post, and you shall unravel the mystery.


get to work, lads.

I was in the library and.......

:P

funky underwear tantrik sex

good guys never end up good.

looking for updates, werent you?

go away.



shooo!







really. go away.








alright, fine. you win.
I give up.

the reason for unblogging for a while, was, well, I had other things to do!
like sleep, eat a sandwich, sleep, drink milkshake, sleep, rage a war, sleep, play need for speed, sleep, wardrobe malfunction, bite into a chocolate, sleep, you know the usual.

did you catch the wardrobe malfunction in there?
good boy!

on that note, for the slighly deludish readers out there : if it happens inside a single room when youre the only one in it, it cannot be called a wardrobe malfunction.

anyway.

whats with girls and linda goodman?

is it an eternal crush kind of thing?

the breeds of females who know how to brush their hair, is still less than the linda goodman female fan population!

i dont get it.
what the heck?

there are so many snide comment like
oh, he's wierd. must be pisces.
oh, she gets angry easily, must be leo.
oh, thats mud, must be an earth sign.
oh, fountain, water sign ppl must be around.
oh, its a hot girl in a short skirt, must be katrina kaif.
oh, its deluded, lets all go have crazy sex.


some of that may not be the actual comment.


so okay.
i had my future read by some really tantrik people and asked them the eternal question(will i get a girl? ever?)
(mostly on the internet)(because its free)(and free is ALWAYS great!)

palmistry expert: hmm. you have deep lines. your venus mounds are not prominent.
deluded :(venus mounds? WTF!!?)
P: but still, your luck line is tortuous and your life line is intersecting with your brain line which in turn intersects with your t shirt line, that means there is a holy triangle formed inside your pants corner, blah blah blah, other stuff
D:so, the answer to my question............
P: you have a good chance, really. but......
D: but.......?
P: youre a loser.
D> the cursed punch!
P>hospitalised

astrologist: i see that your sun is in a quadrant unfavourable to your neptune tendencies
D: that makes sense. yes. and?
A: your mars tower of babel is nearing its true height, and this shall cause your moon to be specially attracted to someone else's venus mounds.
D:(what is it with venus mounds?!!)
D:so......the answer?
A:youre a loser
A: the future looks bleak, but it shall turn golden if you buy my book(only Rs.735) and follow the direction, take me as your god, and give me money...
D> fist of the sun!
A>black eye

astronomist: erm what?
D: oops. wrong person
A: security!
D>achilles heel!
A>falls to ground clutching

gemologist: i believe what you need is a cat's eye gem on your index finger, that way you'll be less of a loser. or perhaps a sapphire....
D: i believe you need my middle finger up your.......
G>runs away
D>cheh. got away

D:ooh, nice hat with the peacock feather and all
divination person: welcome dear loser, how can i help you today.......
D>divine punishment

girl eating ice cream: youra loosa
D: err, what language? kannada gotilla

security guard: hey lo........
D>hidden buddhist arts: thousand years of pain



so.
anyway.
thats that.

dont you dare say anything starting with 'lo', you twits
(sammy :P)

oh, unless youre a hot girl, and you want to say you love me. then youre pardoned.

babaspeak

jab pait main ho khaana, to sabh kuch suhaana!

what happens when two like minded(crazy) people meet on gtalk

deluded:
eat a plum!
drink some water.
and lick your finger, covered in gum
Sammy:
and jump off a building
deluded:
onto a moti waali lady
sammy: hawwww
deluded:
and bounce off into the next building
sammy: elastic limit ka khayaal karna
warna bounce back ke bajayeee
...
messy scene ho jaye ga
deluded:
keep doing said activity until you cross the ocean
there, eat a bagel
b/c its, you know, international
sammy: haha
deluded:
piss in the open sea
sammy: interpol pakray gi ab
sheesh
deluded:
then piss on interpol waala computer
that make it go, bad booom boom
sammy: AHAHAHAHAHA
sleep with the fishes
lol
deluded:
you cannot possibly piss more, b/c you know.......tanki khaali
Saima: ahahahahah
LMAO
deluded:
so, go slap a french person
sleep with his girlfriend
sammy: she'll slap you
deluded:
shout viva la lalalalalaaaaaaaa
take a bottle of wine, hit it on a bus conductor's head
chop off your little finger
eat another bagel
stop the bleeding by using a silk cloth
wear a turban and shout choco attack!!
go to greece
look at hot greece girls
ask 5 of them out
get rejected
swallow sadness
sammy: dont forget slaps!!
deluded:
fly to mexico
ear a burrito
sammy: die of swine flu
deluded:
fart loudly.
sammy: ahahaha
deluded:
and then let loose a 'silent killer'
sammy: ahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*bangs head on the keyboard
deluded: take a dump behind some bushes, b/c you know, its been a while
sammy: aww becharay
deluded: swim in a river
of mexican beer
sing a hindi song
call a mexican guy and say
hey sombrero
I be el polo loco
bow before me, peasant!
sleep with a hot mexican girl
make sure she takes a bath before though
fly to the moon
bomb the russians from there
sammy: dream on
deluded:
steal some moonshine
sammy: oooh
deluded:
fly to canada
sammy: save some for meeeeee
deluded:
eat a bagel
eat another bagel, its sooo friggin cold
burn the trees
wrestle with a polar bear
hit him between his legs
find out that its a she
run for your life
swim underwater
come up in front of australia
call their prime minister a nigga
eat a hat
eat a bagel. good for digestion
cut your arm off
regenerate.
eat a bagel. youre tired.
slap some australian cricketers.
say wassssuuup matey in a bad
go to a topless beach
throw some money into the sea
catch a crab
eat it
catch a great white shark
cook it into a bagel
eat the bagel
behead yourself
regenerate, with better hair this time
eat chinese food
watch some anime
buy a katana
sammy: in china now?
japan now
deluded:
no no, australia se hi
sammy: hahaha
khan kha tax lagay ga
deluded:
its cheaper there, black market!
sammy: oooh
then dont forget to sell a kidney
deluded:
cut off australia with your super great ultra super sword
into 3 parts
eat one part
slash everything, until only the topless beach is left
hang out there for a week
sammy: HAHAHA
deluded:
bomb the russians
see some diff types of 'bomb' at the beach
ooooh. missiles!
fly into the sun
sammy: torpedos
deluded:
lol
throw fireballs from there to saturn
burn saturn
sammy: great
deluded:
burn china
sammy: u went off to teh universe
but u didnt visit pakistan
deluded:
go to pakistan
eat kebabs
sammy: chicken walay!
sastay walay
deluded:
look at legendary hot lahori girls
sammy: :P
deluded:
meet a karachite chick
sammy: *snort
deluded:
touch her hand
get chased by extremists due to it
run to the middle east
sammy: hahaha
deluded:
sell your pee as water(theyd buy anything. yellow liquid gold? no?)
you know, b/c its been a while
eat a bagel
fly to mt everest
take a dump there, to make it 2 inches taller
fly to europe
get high on weed
get into a gay club
run the fuck out
sammy: a friend with weed is a friend indeed(sammyism)
deluded:
get into a lesbian club
announce that, since you like girls, you MUST be lesbian
have a threesome
fly to africa
do the kamehameha wave(dragonball Z)
take out africa with it
take out a giant whale, throw it on top of asia
let it sink due to its weight
bomb the russians
eat a bagel. tired.
pee on the americans
eat a mexican
bomb russia
burn south america
eat a german
eat a bagel
take a dump in the ocean
bomb whatevers left
fly into the sun
bomb earth
let it burst
go into hibernation, for future generations
remember to keep an extra large supply of bagels
never know when you need em
hmmmm
yeah
Im done :)
sammy: *silent treatment
deluded:
dude. Im SO posting this on my blog!
sammy: yeah you should!!!