no.
I dont mean you.
thats my message to 2008
this was almost the worst ending for the worst ever year Ive had.
that includes the mafioso being after me and my friend because we peed on their boss's favorite potted plant(couldnt help it! too much water in our system) and the aliens invading the earth and the indian politics.
they didnt?
whats ramadoss then??
yup. Im getting old.
oh, and Im getting you zero cakes, new year, the big 'o' treatment for you.
anyway,
I, at least, should try and confuse myself.
did that make sense? no? youre confused.
back to the post,
"he was really, just a normal guy. He hadnt ever done anything out of the ordinary. not yet. not ever, he thought. but then, that didnt matter. all he wanted was to get into college, and he had managed that, although barely. Now all he wanted was to get a low paying job, get a wife,kids and then perhaps when he would turn 45, middle-age crisis or some shit like that. because isnt that normal?
20 years he had spent. not doing what he wanted, but doing what was normal. fitting in, as his mother said. but then again, he argued with himself, all that he ever wanted was to be normal. and that much, he had achieved with a huge success.
but then, isnt it normal to have some aim in life? something to think about? something to live for? something to work your ass off? said an inner voice deep inside him. he had seen the kind. some were in love. some were into sports. some into studies. some were just passionate about anything really. passion. thats what youre missing. he thought. yet, he had never been fired up about anything. but he thought he WAS special. once, he had seen some object, something bright, which no one else could see.
then, one day. he saw that 'thing' again. he saw it on the roof of the library. but as soon as he ran up, there was nothing.2 days he spent, trying to search it out. you look strange, said his roommate. a week went by, and he was still searching. you seem engrossed in something else, said his best friend. 2 weeks. youre strangely happy, said the strange girl who sat with him in class.
but everything else, almost didnt even register in his mind. they didnt even matter. he was fascinated. by that brightness. nothing else was brighter. not even the sun. and only he could see it. somehow only he had seen it. nobody else would even understand, what he was going through. he was alone in this. but, he wasnt lonely. this feeling was different. from everything he had felt before.
one day, he finally spotted it. it glided along a deserted road. he had been here before, he realised. but everything seemed so different in that strange strange light. everything was no longer mediocre. each tree, each house, each bug, each spot on the road........they were all mysterious. and beautiful. his head was swarming with questions. things he had never thought before. which house was that? what shape was that flower? why do they call it end point? lots. lots. lots.
but the most fascinating thing, was floating away. he ran at top speed. but he could never really catch up. then suddenly, it stopped. he screamed, jumped up, lunged at it. he finally had it in his hands. this moment, is the most wonderful in my life. he thought. and then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it vanished. he felt wind on his face. realised he was falling. but it didnt really register. all he felt was sadness. for losing the thing. for losing that special part that he had discovered inside himself. it was great while it lasted. was his last thought.
they found him 3 days later. his glassy eyes were open. his lips curled in a half smile. he seemed sad. he seemed happy. he seemed amused. all at once.
even though he fell 20 feet. there were no external injuries, they reported. they couldnt figure out why he died. it was as if, he suddenly decided he had had enough, given up and died."
but then, isnt that how chasing a dream is like?