Friday, February 20, 2009

you and me, Lets take it to the next level

aye, yea

yes my friends.

I have become something great.

however, Im fighting a losing battle.

let me tell you, about how Ive discovered this inner potential inside of me............its like a whole new awareness within myself


Im fighting a losing battle against this guy.....



he is strong.



aaah. he got me good there. ouch.


every night, I fight a battle against my inner consciousness.

No. Its not about the love life, studies or anything that trivial

its not even the post murder guilts you get after you kill someone.
oops. perhaps I have said too much.
come police, try and catch me. you will never catch me alive.



unless of course you send your special elite squad - the super alpha sexy babe squadron
then I shall surrender.

anyway

the thing is, everynight, I dutifully set an alarm for the next day, and go to sleep
thinking that I'll get up tomorrow, attend class and be happy

status next day : wakes up at 10 30, sees alarm has been disabled, and misses half the college time

status next night: sets 3 alarms.

status next next day: wakes up at 11, sees all 3 alarms disabled, misses half of college

status next next night: sleeps at 9, thinking that sleeping early = waking up early, sets 6 alarms, asks 3 ppl to call and wake him up

status next next next day: wakes up at 11 30, all 6 alarms disabled, mobile on silent mode.


see what he is?
he's a monster.
he just keeps getting better and better while facing difficult situations.

damn you inner ninja. damn you.


on second thoughts, it might not be so bad.

I might get this.




and this.



Im coming sensei! banzai! banzai!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hot Indian girl, blogs about it.

yes.

yeeessssss.

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

*makes a victory signal.

you guys wont believe it.

finally, a guest post. and that too, from a 'hot indian girl'

okay, you guys, she wants to be kept anonymous, because she's SO effing hot, that if I give her link here, she'll be stalked by tons of guys, and she wont have any peace.

anyways, this is a very senti post. and I want you all to comment, because well, she deserves it.


consequently,

ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST AND DOESNT COMMENT, IS NOT STRAIGHT. I have spoken.

aye. straight to the post.









Sometimes..



Sometimes..life's strange
Sometimes..its better not to show that you care
Sometimes..silence IS golden
Sometimes..you realize that you've realized something far too late and then you can do nothing abt it
Sometimes..you realize that you are in love with your best friend only after he gives you the news that he's getting married
Sometimes..you have to hide your feelings,the pain,the agony,the anguish seeing your best friend with some one else only because all you want is him to be happy
Sometimes..you cant confess your feelings because he is 27 and you are just 20!
Sometimes..its better not to say anything,put up a smile and watch someone else walk away with your most prized possesion
Sometimes..you feel so helpless that it kills you inside..slowly,deeply,incurably.
Sometimes..you can see something or someone just slipping away from your hand but all you can do abt it is stare at it helplessly
Sometimes..you reach a stage in life when you think you've done your share of hard work,you've been the most intelligent and sought after one for the time enough,then you adopt a laid back attitute in life though still not wanting to give away your prestitious position of being a perfectionist,to some one else..and then you feel like a loser..sometimes..most of the times..

Sometimes you think all that matters is love but still you cant find one
Sometimes ..you struggle hard to fight back your tears but all you end up with is more of them
Sometimes..you try hard to put all your thoughts,frustration,sadness,fears,contemplation in a poem but what you come up with is just another cliche',hard to comprehend rambling which does not frustrate you further because you are already too frustrated to give a damn
Sometimes..you pour out everything on a publically accesible forum still hoping that your 27 year old friend never finds out abt it
Sometimes..you really ,badly, want things to be like they used to be..almost perfect
Sometimes..life can be so harsh
Sometimes..you are given no choices, only lectures abt being strong and "deal" with it

Federer - God,its killing me..
I - Me too..

Saturday, February 7, 2009

hold your chin high and trim your nose hair

a cute nose can make anyone look heavenly, no?


and an ugly nose can make the prettiest person look like a pig.




(p.s. is that pig sticking his tongue out?)(ha! suck on this Mr. farmerman!)



now check the nose of this hottie.




no you didnt.

the NOSE, the NOSE. go back and look at the pic again, you pervert.


ah, yes. back to the topic.

you know your life aint going good, when youre still inside on a saturday night.

why am I not outside, you ask?

slip disc.

and Im single.

alright, slip disc doesnt count. happy?



when youre single, life opens up a lot of avenues. and you can do almost everything in the world. you can become rich. you can be famous. you can get a girl. you can be the president.

or you can just be lazy... sigh. life can be sad.



alright, a treat for all you readers.

deepika padukone - a very hot indian girl



you just came here because you googled up 'hot indian girl' didnt you?

why are you reading this?

go get drunk. or better, get a girlfriend you sick sick person.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

this time is never gonna stop

aaaah, 6th sem.

lectures are very interesting.

we have so many subjects this year.......

like ENT(I finally learned the correct way to pick my nose)
optho(was sitting at the back, due to poor eyesight, couldnt see what was happening)
some other subjects(I still dont know what classes I was in)

still, its fun.
clinics are fun too.
we take cases. and we present them.

who would have imagined it was this simple? ;)

I really really need to start learning kannada though, right now I only know one word - 'illa'. I used to think it meant 'no'. so I didnt use it too much. but Ive started using it in every sentence because Now i realise that it actually means 'say my name, bitch' in kannada.

Im cool, just like that.

ahem.

new headphones! from intex.
they look like a helmet.

all I have to do now is wear army pants and a white undershirt, a gold chain and then I will TOTALLY have the 'gansta' look

Im cool, yo!




however. Im SERIOUSLY going to start studying from today onwards.

my friend has bought some hip books from some hip stationary. He got the whole series too! all 7 books

theyre called happy rotter.

I am SO gonna read those.

*and hence, his academic career was ruined

Sunday, January 25, 2009

PWNED

THATS IT.

Ive had enough.

Goddamn master!

You write on my back, you change my looks by-and-how-you-want-it.

just when you actually write something good and I feel like showing it off as a kind of body art, you slip in something embarrassing.

your use of language and editing skills are pathetic. but I keep on hopin, like a faithful blog, that you'll be something good eventually.

Im supposed to be your best friend, ne? but you dont open up enough..........why so secretive?

you PROMISED me, that you'll take good care of me. THATS why I joined in as your blog.

now, you come and go as you please.

somehow, when I want rest and privacy, there are people reading out of my back every second

and when I feel like being publicised, you dont post anything at all.

and now, just because youre in emotional turmoil, you go on completely ignoring me.

plus, you recruited another blog, but youre just ignoring him too, ne?

youre being unfair, and I feel like some orphaned child.

anyway. the thing is.
now I need a break.

Im going to maldives, with me girlfriend.

when I come back, we need to have a serious discussion.





oh, and this is just as a revenge for all the ignoring Ive been facing,

hey everybody(if there's still anybody reading this)

master likes reading romantic novels.

HA!

Suck on that!

you have been pawned.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

shake yer bong bong

So.....

you've just crashed a party (because after all, free food!)
and you discover that its actually a bong party

its filled with babus, auntys and younger bongs who desperately need a haircut and a new wardrobe.

and you'd like to get out, but bong food is bong food(plus, my funda: free food always tastes better)

one thing you'll notice, is that there is NO greater food fest than a bong party(punjabis come 2nd) EVERY non veg item that you ever imagined, some veg crap, some roti crap, and yes FREE BOOZE. also a paan stall (meetha paan please!) at the end. and if its winter, the famous coffee stall with the guy holding a jug into which elephant fart is blown into to make it frothy.

so.....now youre inside, and you want to eat every single meat/fish dish you've seen(f*ck the veg crap and the rice crap and the roti crap) and get drunk.

and perhaps then go to the disco section where you get to dance with hot young thangs, and fat fat balding uncles shaking their booty for all its worth.

there's just one problem.

language!

what'll you do when someone asks you anything in bong?

fear not my friends, I, the bong-meister shall give you tips.

no matter what they ask, you can get away with a universal answer.




Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.


notice, its 'khoob bhalo' twice.

you HAVE TO have to say it twice, or the whole phrase becomes meaningless.

Q: tomar naam ki? (whats your name?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: time ki?(whats the time?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: maach ta kemni?(hows the fish?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: tumi bangaali?
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

Q: tumi oke jano? o kemni aache?(do you know him? hows he?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.

as you can see, it works on any question.

but JUST in case you screw up some part, or you dont look bongish(youre a chinese, n african, a dwarf, or a little purple animal) then do the following things.

A. shout 'DADA' and run towards any unsuspecting male victim
B. Keep a paan ready, and chew on it as soon as a question is asked, after enough masticulation the person will probably give up and go away
C. shout 'OORI BABA' and run towards the nearest exit or bathroom.


there you go. thats the ABC.

results will vary according to the intelligence and drunkenness of the bongs as well as yours.

go on.
have some fun.



and free booze.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

why dont you go f*ck yourself !

no.

I dont mean you.

thats my message to 2008

this was almost the worst ending for the worst ever year Ive had.

that includes the mafioso being after me and my friend because we peed on their boss's favorite potted plant(couldnt help it! too much water in our system) and the aliens invading the earth and the indian politics.
they didnt?

whats ramadoss then??

yup. Im getting old.

oh, and Im getting you zero cakes, new year, the big 'o' treatment for you.

anyway,

I, at least, should try and confuse myself.

did that make sense? no? youre confused.

back to the post,

"he was really, just a normal guy. He hadnt ever done anything out of the ordinary. not yet. not ever, he thought. but then, that didnt matter. all he wanted was to get into college, and he had managed that, although barely. Now all he wanted was to get a low paying job, get a wife,kids and then perhaps when he would turn 45, middle-age crisis or some shit like that. because isnt that normal?

20 years he had spent. not doing what he wanted, but doing what was normal. fitting in, as his mother said. but then again, he argued with himself, all that he ever wanted was to be normal. and that much, he had achieved with a huge success.

but then, isnt it normal to have some aim in life? something to think about? something to live for? something to work your ass off? said an inner voice deep inside him. he had seen the kind. some were in love. some were into sports. some into studies. some were just passionate about anything really. passion. thats what youre missing. he thought. yet, he had never been fired up about anything. but he thought he WAS special. once, he had seen some object, something bright, which no one else could see.

then, one day. he saw that 'thing' again. he saw it on the roof of the library. but as soon as he ran up, there was nothing.2 days he spent, trying to search it out. you look strange, said his roommate. a week went by, and he was still searching. you seem engrossed in something else, said his best friend. 2 weeks. youre strangely happy, said the strange girl who sat with him in class.

but everything else, almost didnt even register in his mind. they didnt even matter. he was fascinated. by that brightness. nothing else was brighter. not even the sun. and only he could see it. somehow only he had seen it. nobody else would even understand, what he was going through. he was alone in this. but, he wasnt lonely. this feeling was different. from everything he had felt before.

one day, he finally spotted it. it glided along a deserted road. he had been here before, he realised. but everything seemed so different in that strange strange light. everything was no longer mediocre. each tree, each house, each bug, each spot on the road........they were all mysterious. and beautiful. his head was swarming with questions. things he had never thought before. which house was that? what shape was that flower? why do they call it end point? lots. lots. lots.

but the most fascinating thing, was floating away. he ran at top speed. but he could never really catch up. then suddenly, it stopped. he screamed, jumped up, lunged at it. he finally had it in his hands. this moment, is the most wonderful in my life. he thought. and then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it vanished. he felt wind on his face. realised he was falling. but it didnt really register. all he felt was sadness. for losing the thing. for losing that special part that he had discovered inside himself. it was great while it lasted. was his last thought.


they found him 3 days later. his glassy eyes were open. his lips curled in a half smile. he seemed sad. he seemed happy. he seemed amused. all at once.

even though he fell 20 feet. there were no external injuries, they reported. they couldnt figure out why he died. it was as if, he suddenly decided he had had enough, given up and died."







but then, isnt that how chasing a dream is like?