alright. today, is a very special day.
thats because I have a famous well known writer posting on my blog today(suck on that! popularity meter o' mine)
in fact, she's soo good that, she's next in line for the booker award.
dont know what that is? google it. (sigh. the age group of my readers.)
you can find her blog link, here
of course, I asked her to post, waaay before she wrote her 1st book, hence, the title.
Reasons for the Guest Post taking a decade
-a gust of wind blew my first 7 drafts away. Umm, strong wind?
-I suffered from some serious memory loss, but its getting better now.
-it was something to look forward to for the first 9 years, so I kind of kept it hanging
-inspiration ran away fast
-exams crept up on me
-holidays begged me to sleep more
-life happened… not that this is Not life.. because it So is. Really.
Yes, okay now. I’m nearly dead with exhaustion having pieced together this masterpiece. It shall be appreciated if you write me that cheque and send over those 40 slaves you promised. And fast please, I need about four or five to carry the ink pot and other writing appliances.
*taps foot*
Okay, I am officially waiting so any more delay Will be frowned upon.
Ps- Inspiration is still out on the loose somewhere… (This is my excuse and I’m sticking to it)
okay.
that was great!
see! finally a post without pics of hot girls.(do I seem more learned now?)
oh yes.
I almost forgot giving links. huh. silly me.
to go to this famous writer's page go here
to go to a hot girl's blog go here
to go see the recipe of strawberry tequila vodka cheesecake go here
to see my attempt at a lame guest post on an extremely cool blog, go here
and finally,
for pictures of hot girls in skimpy swimsuits, go here
haha. I got you there. you perv.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
you and me, Lets take it to the next level
aye, yea
yes my friends.
I have become something great.
however, Im fighting a losing battle.
let me tell you, about how Ive discovered this inner potential inside of me............its like a whole new awareness within myself
Im fighting a losing battle against this guy.....
he is strong.
aaah. he got me good there. ouch.
every night, I fight a battle against my inner consciousness.
No. Its not about the love life, studies or anything that trivial
its not even the post murder guilts you get after you kill someone.
oops. perhaps I have said too much.
come police, try and catch me. you will never catch me alive.
unless of course you send your special elite squad - the super alpha sexy babe squadron
then I shall surrender.
anyway
the thing is, everynight, I dutifully set an alarm for the next day, and go to sleep
thinking that I'll get up tomorrow, attend class and be happy
status next day : wakes up at 10 30, sees alarm has been disabled, and misses half the college time
status next night: sets 3 alarms.
status next next day: wakes up at 11, sees all 3 alarms disabled, misses half of college
status next next night: sleeps at 9, thinking that sleeping early = waking up early, sets 6 alarms, asks 3 ppl to call and wake him up
status next next next day: wakes up at 11 30, all 6 alarms disabled, mobile on silent mode.
see what he is?
he's a monster.
he just keeps getting better and better while facing difficult situations.
damn you inner ninja. damn you.
on second thoughts, it might not be so bad.
I might get this.
and this.
Im coming sensei! banzai! banzai!
yes my friends.
I have become something great.
however, Im fighting a losing battle.
let me tell you, about how Ive discovered this inner potential inside of me............its like a whole new awareness within myself
Im fighting a losing battle against this guy.....
he is strong.
aaah. he got me good there. ouch.
every night, I fight a battle against my inner consciousness.
No. Its not about the love life, studies or anything that trivial
its not even the post murder guilts you get after you kill someone.
oops. perhaps I have said too much.
come police, try and catch me. you will never catch me alive.
unless of course you send your special elite squad - the super alpha sexy babe squadron
then I shall surrender.
anyway
the thing is, everynight, I dutifully set an alarm for the next day, and go to sleep
thinking that I'll get up tomorrow, attend class and be happy
status next day : wakes up at 10 30, sees alarm has been disabled, and misses half the college time
status next night: sets 3 alarms.
status next next day: wakes up at 11, sees all 3 alarms disabled, misses half of college
status next next night: sleeps at 9, thinking that sleeping early = waking up early, sets 6 alarms, asks 3 ppl to call and wake him up
status next next next day: wakes up at 11 30, all 6 alarms disabled, mobile on silent mode.
see what he is?
he's a monster.
he just keeps getting better and better while facing difficult situations.
damn you inner ninja. damn you.
on second thoughts, it might not be so bad.
I might get this.
and this.
Im coming sensei! banzai! banzai!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Hot Indian girl, blogs about it.
yes.
yeeessssss.
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
*makes a victory signal.
you guys wont believe it.
finally, a guest post. and that too, from a 'hot indian girl'
okay, you guys, she wants to be kept anonymous, because she's SO effing hot, that if I give her link here, she'll be stalked by tons of guys, and she wont have any peace.
anyways, this is a very senti post. and I want you all to comment, because well, she deserves it.
consequently,
ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST AND DOESNT COMMENT, IS NOT STRAIGHT. I have spoken.
aye. straight to the post.
Sometimes..
Sometimes..life's strange
Sometimes..its better not to show that you care
Sometimes..silence IS golden
Sometimes..you realize that you've realized something far too late and then you can do nothing abt it
Sometimes..you realize that you are in love with your best friend only after he gives you the news that he's getting married
Sometimes..you have to hide your feelings,the pain,the agony,the anguish seeing your best friend with some one else only because all you want is him to be happy
Sometimes..you cant confess your feelings because he is 27 and you are just 20!
Sometimes..its better not to say anything,put up a smile and watch someone else walk away with your most prized possesion
Sometimes..you feel so helpless that it kills you inside..slowly,deeply,incurably.
Sometimes..you can see something or someone just slipping away from your hand but all you can do abt it is stare at it helplessly
Sometimes..you reach a stage in life when you think you've done your share of hard work,you've been the most intelligent and sought after one for the time enough,then you adopt a laid back attitute in life though still not wanting to give away your prestitious position of being a perfectionist,to some one else..and then you feel like a loser..sometimes..most of the times..
Sometimes you think all that matters is love but still you cant find one
Sometimes ..you struggle hard to fight back your tears but all you end up with is more of them
Sometimes..you try hard to put all your thoughts,frustration,sadness,fears,contemplation in a poem but what you come up with is just another cliche',hard to comprehend rambling which does not frustrate you further because you are already too frustrated to give a damn
Sometimes..you pour out everything on a publically accesible forum still hoping that your 27 year old friend never finds out abt it
Sometimes..you really ,badly, want things to be like they used to be..almost perfect
Sometimes..life can be so harsh
Sometimes..you are given no choices, only lectures abt being strong and "deal" with it
Federer - God,its killing me..
I - Me too..
yeeessssss.
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
*makes a victory signal.
you guys wont believe it.
finally, a guest post. and that too, from a 'hot indian girl'
okay, you guys, she wants to be kept anonymous, because she's SO effing hot, that if I give her link here, she'll be stalked by tons of guys, and she wont have any peace.
anyways, this is a very senti post. and I want you all to comment, because well, she deserves it.
consequently,
ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST AND DOESNT COMMENT, IS NOT STRAIGHT. I have spoken.
aye. straight to the post.
Sometimes..
Sometimes..life's strange
Sometimes..its better not to show that you care
Sometimes..silence IS golden
Sometimes..you realize that you've realized something far too late and then you can do nothing abt it
Sometimes..you realize that you are in love with your best friend only after he gives you the news that he's getting married
Sometimes..you have to hide your feelings,the pain,the agony,the anguish seeing your best friend with some one else only because all you want is him to be happy
Sometimes..you cant confess your feelings because he is 27 and you are just 20!
Sometimes..its better not to say anything,put up a smile and watch someone else walk away with your most prized possesion
Sometimes..you feel so helpless that it kills you inside..slowly,deeply,incurably.
Sometimes..you can see something or someone just slipping away from your hand but all you can do abt it is stare at it helplessly
Sometimes..you reach a stage in life when you think you've done your share of hard work,you've been the most intelligent and sought after one for the time enough,then you adopt a laid back attitute in life though still not wanting to give away your prestitious position of being a perfectionist,to some one else..and then you feel like a loser..sometimes..most of the times..
Sometimes you think all that matters is love but still you cant find one
Sometimes ..you struggle hard to fight back your tears but all you end up with is more of them
Sometimes..you try hard to put all your thoughts,frustration,sadness,fears,contemplation in a poem but what you come up with is just another cliche',hard to comprehend rambling which does not frustrate you further because you are already too frustrated to give a damn
Sometimes..you pour out everything on a publically accesible forum still hoping that your 27 year old friend never finds out abt it
Sometimes..you really ,badly, want things to be like they used to be..almost perfect
Sometimes..life can be so harsh
Sometimes..you are given no choices, only lectures abt being strong and "deal" with it
Federer - God,its killing me..
I - Me too..
Saturday, February 7, 2009
hold your chin high and trim your nose hair
a cute nose can make anyone look heavenly, no?
and an ugly nose can make the prettiest person look like a pig.
(p.s. is that pig sticking his tongue out?)(ha! suck on this Mr. farmerman!)
now check the nose of this hottie.
no you didnt.
the NOSE, the NOSE. go back and look at the pic again, you pervert.
ah, yes. back to the topic.
you know your life aint going good, when youre still inside on a saturday night.
why am I not outside, you ask?
slip disc.
and Im single.
alright, slip disc doesnt count. happy?
when youre single, life opens up a lot of avenues. and you can do almost everything in the world. you can become rich. you can be famous. you can get a girl. you can be the president.
or you can just be lazy... sigh. life can be sad.
alright, a treat for all you readers.
deepika padukone - a very hot indian girl
you just came here because you googled up 'hot indian girl' didnt you?
why are you reading this?
go get drunk. or better, get a girlfriend you sick sick person.
and an ugly nose can make the prettiest person look like a pig.
(p.s. is that pig sticking his tongue out?)(ha! suck on this Mr. farmerman!)
now check the nose of this hottie.
no you didnt.
the NOSE, the NOSE. go back and look at the pic again, you pervert.
ah, yes. back to the topic.
you know your life aint going good, when youre still inside on a saturday night.
why am I not outside, you ask?
slip disc.
and Im single.
alright, slip disc doesnt count. happy?
when youre single, life opens up a lot of avenues. and you can do almost everything in the world. you can become rich. you can be famous. you can get a girl. you can be the president.
or you can just be lazy... sigh. life can be sad.
alright, a treat for all you readers.
deepika padukone - a very hot indian girl
you just came here because you googled up 'hot indian girl' didnt you?
why are you reading this?
go get drunk. or better, get a girlfriend you sick sick person.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
this time is never gonna stop
aaaah, 6th sem.
lectures are very interesting.
we have so many subjects this year.......
like ENT(I finally learned the correct way to pick my nose)
optho(was sitting at the back, due to poor eyesight, couldnt see what was happening)
some other subjects(I still dont know what classes I was in)
still, its fun.
clinics are fun too.
we take cases. and we present them.
who would have imagined it was this simple? ;)
I really really need to start learning kannada though, right now I only know one word - 'illa'. I used to think it meant 'no'. so I didnt use it too much. but Ive started using it in every sentence because Now i realise that it actually means 'say my name, bitch' in kannada.
Im cool, just like that.
ahem.
new headphones! from intex.
they look like a helmet.
all I have to do now is wear army pants and a white undershirt, a gold chain and then I will TOTALLY have the 'gansta' look
Im cool, yo!
however. Im SERIOUSLY going to start studying from today onwards.
my friend has bought some hip books from some hip stationary. He got the whole series too! all 7 books
theyre called happy rotter.
I am SO gonna read those.
*and hence, his academic career was ruined
lectures are very interesting.
we have so many subjects this year.......
like ENT(I finally learned the correct way to pick my nose)
optho(was sitting at the back, due to poor eyesight, couldnt see what was happening)
some other subjects(I still dont know what classes I was in)
still, its fun.
clinics are fun too.
we take cases. and we present them.
who would have imagined it was this simple? ;)
I really really need to start learning kannada though, right now I only know one word - 'illa'. I used to think it meant 'no'. so I didnt use it too much. but Ive started using it in every sentence because Now i realise that it actually means 'say my name, bitch' in kannada.
Im cool, just like that.
ahem.
new headphones! from intex.
they look like a helmet.
all I have to do now is wear army pants and a white undershirt, a gold chain and then I will TOTALLY have the 'gansta' look
Im cool, yo!
however. Im SERIOUSLY going to start studying from today onwards.
my friend has bought some hip books from some hip stationary. He got the whole series too! all 7 books
theyre called happy rotter.
I am SO gonna read those.
*and hence, his academic career was ruined
Sunday, January 25, 2009
PWNED
THATS IT.
Ive had enough.
Goddamn master!
You write on my back, you change my looks by-and-how-you-want-it.
just when you actually write something good and I feel like showing it off as a kind of body art, you slip in something embarrassing.
your use of language and editing skills are pathetic. but I keep on hopin, like a faithful blog, that you'll be something good eventually.
Im supposed to be your best friend, ne? but you dont open up enough..........why so secretive?
you PROMISED me, that you'll take good care of me. THATS why I joined in as your blog.
now, you come and go as you please.
somehow, when I want rest and privacy, there are people reading out of my back every second
and when I feel like being publicised, you dont post anything at all.
and now, just because youre in emotional turmoil, you go on completely ignoring me.
plus, you recruited another blog, but youre just ignoring him too, ne?
youre being unfair, and I feel like some orphaned child.
anyway. the thing is.
now I need a break.
Im going to maldives, with me girlfriend.
when I come back, we need to have a serious discussion.
oh, and this is just as a revenge for all the ignoring Ive been facing,
hey everybody(if there's still anybody reading this)
master likes reading romantic novels.
HA!
Suck on that!
you have been pawned.
Ive had enough.
Goddamn master!
You write on my back, you change my looks by-and-how-you-want-it.
just when you actually write something good and I feel like showing it off as a kind of body art, you slip in something embarrassing.
your use of language and editing skills are pathetic. but I keep on hopin, like a faithful blog, that you'll be something good eventually.
Im supposed to be your best friend, ne? but you dont open up enough..........why so secretive?
you PROMISED me, that you'll take good care of me. THATS why I joined in as your blog.
now, you come and go as you please.
somehow, when I want rest and privacy, there are people reading out of my back every second
and when I feel like being publicised, you dont post anything at all.
and now, just because youre in emotional turmoil, you go on completely ignoring me.
plus, you recruited another blog, but youre just ignoring him too, ne?
youre being unfair, and I feel like some orphaned child.
anyway. the thing is.
now I need a break.
Im going to maldives, with me girlfriend.
when I come back, we need to have a serious discussion.
oh, and this is just as a revenge for all the ignoring Ive been facing,
hey everybody(if there's still anybody reading this)
master likes reading romantic novels.
HA!
Suck on that!
you have been pawned.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
shake yer bong bong
So.....
you've just crashed a party (because after all, free food!)
and you discover that its actually a bong party
its filled with babus, auntys and younger bongs who desperately need a haircut and a new wardrobe.
and you'd like to get out, but bong food is bong food(plus, my funda: free food always tastes better)
one thing you'll notice, is that there is NO greater food fest than a bong party(punjabis come 2nd) EVERY non veg item that you ever imagined, some veg crap, some roti crap, and yes FREE BOOZE. also a paan stall (meetha paan please!) at the end. and if its winter, the famous coffee stall with the guy holding a jug into which elephant fart is blown into to make it frothy.
so.....now youre inside, and you want to eat every single meat/fish dish you've seen(f*ck the veg crap and the rice crap and the roti crap) and get drunk.
and perhaps then go to the disco section where you get to dance with hot young thangs, and fat fat balding uncles shaking their booty for all its worth.
there's just one problem.
language!
what'll you do when someone asks you anything in bong?
fear not my friends, I, the bong-meister shall give you tips.
no matter what they ask, you can get away with a universal answer.
Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
notice, its 'khoob bhalo' twice.
you HAVE TO have to say it twice, or the whole phrase becomes meaningless.
Q: tomar naam ki? (whats your name?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: time ki?(whats the time?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: maach ta kemni?(hows the fish?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: tumi bangaali?
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: tumi oke jano? o kemni aache?(do you know him? hows he?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
as you can see, it works on any question.
but JUST in case you screw up some part, or you dont look bongish(youre a chinese, n african, a dwarf, or a little purple animal) then do the following things.
A. shout 'DADA' and run towards any unsuspecting male victim
B. Keep a paan ready, and chew on it as soon as a question is asked, after enough masticulation the person will probably give up and go away
C. shout 'OORI BABA' and run towards the nearest exit or bathroom.
there you go. thats the ABC.
results will vary according to the intelligence and drunkenness of the bongs as well as yours.
go on.
have some fun.
and free booze.
you've just crashed a party (because after all, free food!)
and you discover that its actually a bong party
its filled with babus, auntys and younger bongs who desperately need a haircut and a new wardrobe.
and you'd like to get out, but bong food is bong food(plus, my funda: free food always tastes better)
one thing you'll notice, is that there is NO greater food fest than a bong party(punjabis come 2nd) EVERY non veg item that you ever imagined, some veg crap, some roti crap, and yes FREE BOOZE. also a paan stall (meetha paan please!) at the end. and if its winter, the famous coffee stall with the guy holding a jug into which elephant fart is blown into to make it frothy.
so.....now youre inside, and you want to eat every single meat/fish dish you've seen(f*ck the veg crap and the rice crap and the roti crap) and get drunk.
and perhaps then go to the disco section where you get to dance with hot young thangs, and fat fat balding uncles shaking their booty for all its worth.
there's just one problem.
language!
what'll you do when someone asks you anything in bong?
fear not my friends, I, the bong-meister shall give you tips.
no matter what they ask, you can get away with a universal answer.
Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
notice, its 'khoob bhalo' twice.
you HAVE TO have to say it twice, or the whole phrase becomes meaningless.
Q: tomar naam ki? (whats your name?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: time ki?(whats the time?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: maach ta kemni?(hows the fish?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: tumi bangaali?
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
Q: tumi oke jano? o kemni aache?(do you know him? hows he?)
A: Khoob bhalo Khoob bhalo.
as you can see, it works on any question.
but JUST in case you screw up some part, or you dont look bongish(youre a chinese, n african, a dwarf, or a little purple animal) then do the following things.
A. shout 'DADA' and run towards any unsuspecting male victim
B. Keep a paan ready, and chew on it as soon as a question is asked, after enough masticulation the person will probably give up and go away
C. shout 'OORI BABA' and run towards the nearest exit or bathroom.
there you go. thats the ABC.
results will vary according to the intelligence and drunkenness of the bongs as well as yours.
go on.
have some fun.
and free booze.
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